Kim here, from the desolate quarantined wasteland that is my apartment.
Having slept for an entire day, only breaking to shower, email some people in regards to my whereabouts, mumble various things about my last will and testament, and demand pity and water refills from the bastard who gave me this disease, hockey was an extremely welcome getaway.
Oh Penguins, you clearly were not aware of my suffering, or how you would compound it by falling to Steven Stamkos, the fucking douchiest douche to ever douche.
Here are some pictures and how they make me feel.
Feds getting taken to the locker room after a boarding compliments of Matt Lashoff was one of the first things to happen in the game.
Mister Lashoff, you may think it's safe to strike when PH Staff is weakened, but you remember, we will be at full strength again soon, and your number will be up.
"Kim I found these Twiz-Nibs on a table at the 7-11."
"Are they open?"
"Don't eat them. You can't just eat open food you find at a 7-11 in North Philly."
"But...not just anyone buys Twiz-Nibs. Someone affluent left them here."
"Srsly, you are going to get mono or AIDs."
"Okay...I won't eat them..."
THAT IS HOW BROTHER STEVEN SCORING IN THE FIRST PERIOD MAKES ME FEEL.
IT MAKES ME FEEL LIKE I AM SURROUNDED BY RETARDS.
Upon realizing that I am, I feel that much worse.
COME ON BOYS, DON'T DO IT.
Fuck you, Twiz Nibs.
Why must you lure in the weak of mind?
We don't care about your SO.
Let us know when you make the playoffs, you good for nothing guttersluts.
Thank you Mattie. You make my gray skies turn blue.
I'm starting to worry that being ill makes me see cats in everything, but srsly MAF. You are a kitty.
At some point the Lightning score again.
Okay, okay, it was Downie in the second period.
But it was all so fucking vomit, who cares.
Pens 0, Lightning 2
Lighting, fuck offffff.
These are games we CAN'T LOSE. This is PLAYOFF TIME. We need to WIN OUR DIVISION.
It angers us that we can't get this shit together right now.
However, that is 72% brainworms talking. There is another reality to this game.
If you didn't see the game, here is what my fever-addled mind forgot to say for realz:
-The Lightning were out of this world. Seriously. Great effort by them.
-The Pens didn't do too bad, despite really fucking up some chances, including the 5 minute major we scored when Feds went down. You have to score on those, you just have to.
-Feds did in fact come back, and seems fine.
-We're really feeling Malkin's absence.
-MAF still rocked it pretty hard.
I obviously can't string together coherent thoughts that well.
Zoe is going to be taking care of you kids for a while now, and she promises that she won't post anything about cats.
Unless it's dire, like we find photos of the boys cuddling kittens. In which case everything changes.
Oh my god why do I keep talking about cats.
Everything will be lovely, I guarentee it.
The playoffs are soon.
The weather is getting to be lovely.
THINGS ARE WONDERFUL.
We're over it.
Never losing again.