Okay, well, not SO much ouch. Gawwwww.
Our initial reaction to the overtime goal was that very foreign-to-our-mouths FUCK YOU SIDNEY CROSBY.
We felt remorse for maybe ten seconds. Then a familiar sight drove it from our minds, just out of instinct.
Alright, alright. Have your way, Cappycakes.
We didn't want to lose, obviously. And as much as we didn't want to lose, we really had come to a point where we didn't want Canada to win. It felt like we were rooting against an entire nation of Habs fans, the air of over-entitled douchery that was about. But we don't actually consider this a win for Canada. We consider this a win for Sidney Crosby, and in some way that makes it a win for Pittsburgh, which makes it a win for us here at PH.
Hey Ovie, did...did you score the GWG in overtime to get the gold for your country?
Was that you?
Hey Ovie, where's your medal?
Why, that looks a mighty lot like a bit of foil fashioned into a circle hanging from some twine.
Buck up, fellas. Silver's nothing to feel down about.
The mothers of PH staff are really something special. Both Zoe's and my own mother have always tried their hardest to keep up with the world of hockey, just to try to relate to us, Curry bless their souls.
When this game was over, I got a call from my PHMom. It went something like this:
"So! How did you like that game?!"
"Well...you know. A little upset."
"Yes! But if we had to lose, at least it was to Sidney, and Miller was just amazing! Hey, that Ryan Malone, he was on the Penguins, right? And Ryan Whitney. And Eric Staal, is that Jordan Staal's brother?" (take a shot)
So there you have it, team USA. My mother having some idea of who you are is worth more than any gold medal, I can promise you that.
If you're still feeling down, here's the weirdest photo of the night:
Will Arnett, what are you doing with an out of focus Jason Bateman in the background, intensely watching hockey?
We're going to bed now.
But Sidney Crosby, you can rape us and steal our dreams any 'ol day of the week.