It's Kim here.
And I will not lie to you.
This is a total drunkblog.
No, like, okay, I didn't mean to blog this drunk, but here we are. Sometimes life happens and then hockey happens and it all has to blend together like a melting pot of happiness. I'll have Zoe review in case I am completely absent for something. TOGETHER WE SHALL MAKE IT THROUGH THIS.
Let's just get to the awards before I forget what is happening.
THE FUCKING FIRST PERIOD AWARD
You know sometimes you go into a game wanting blood and vengeance and gore et cetera. Last season, the first Wings game was like zomg important. This year it snuck up on us. We were sort of surprised when Pierre reminded us that it was the first Pens/Wings meeting since we had won the Cup on their ice. Funny how much less petty rivalries mean when you are defending the Stanley Cup and your ex-opponent is now a sorry mess of a hockey club loitering around the bottom of the list of playoff contenders. We should remember where we were last year, less we get cocky.
The Wings blow.
Babby knows it.
HUGLUGLUG MY MOUTH IS READY FOR COCKS
Danny B isn't thinking about licking balls, he's concerned with what his team is up to.
Good news; Billy G is off of mustache duty after today. Thank Christ. Threesome offers were wearing thing. We're not sure how cool we are with mustache rides sans a complimentary beard.
Take note, boys.
We wish something else had happened during the first period other than us rolling around in agony.But nay.
Oh, well, some photos.
We wouldn't deny you that.
Gonch saves MAF's life.
Mattie is the Man of the World.
I'd fuck Crosby well before Zetterberg, you heard it here first.
THE MOST DELICIOUS FIRST BLOOD
By the time it happened, first blood was the most important thing in the goddamn world. Crosby made it happen like the fucking hero he is. We weren't sure if another goal would happen ever again, but we were so happy to see this.
We knew DET didn't have a chance.
We just, you know, wanted to fucking prove it.
The second period was all about Sid's goal and the third line acting heroic and Jordy being a super hero and other shit that I can't handle now that I'm bombed.com. The third period was all about the tie.
We didn't really give too much of a shit, we had seen this as an overtime game from the beginning of it all.
THE OVERTIME AWARD
Revoked; overtime was worthless.
MOST ADORABLE WIN PHOTOS
The SO was sort of fucking awesome.
Cappy and Malks are fucking awesome.
The team photos are the best of the century.
The Pens win in the fucking shootout, 2-1.
Fuck you Red Wings.
Detroit is worthless.
THE SEXY SEXY SEXY AWARD
No one ever gets this sexy.
Lost another goddamn tooth for his team.
Brooks, Mmmmffff. This vodka would make me make all sorts of bad decisions with you.
ALT THREE STARS
2) Jordan Staal - What the shit. What a man.
3) Zoe- For telling me that this is "either the best or worst recap ever, do not LOL at me, and the third award can not be given to a bottle of vodka, give it to a person and then you can post it."
Oh man. I need to go lay down.
This game was the shit. Re-enforcing what we did last season is funfunfun.
Let us forever remember that the Wings blow dicks.