washing the filth off of the devil's hide

The Pens did everything right and came through with a win tonight.
Montreal played a good game, to the point that the Canadiens are capable of playing a good game, but it was pretty obvious that in both work ethic and talent they were outmatched this evening.
If it weren't for Halak's general solidity since Game 1, the Habs probably aren't in this.
That, and Mike Cammalleri thinking that he's a hockey player.
The Pens have a chance to end these shenanigans on Monday. Spring in Quebec is still pretty chilly. You know, like in the D. We'd try to keep it that way, but the Habs fans will probably light something on fire to keep warm.

Whatever.

The second-best moment of the first was when Mike Rupp managed to get a puck like, inside Halak's helmet and hit him in the ear. Not funny if he gets hurt, but funny since he got over it like a man, and stayed in the play like respectable hockey players do.Maybe it was a spell for dispersing Slovak Magic.
The real reason that the collective Ukraine Train was made to sit was that the energy fields were getting mixed up.

Fleury makes a few good saves. Halak makes a few too. When Josh Gorges does something stupid, the Pens PP takes the ice.
No one hits the net for about a minute. Malkin starts charging around, sends the puck to Letang. Letang sensually blasts the puck past Halak for the official Best Moment of the Period.
KTang sends an arrow to the stars, much like Luc Bourdon used to do.
We're also dedicating this goal to PH Staff Member and Unicorn Advisor Allison, because we can.
If you shine a blacklight on that goal celebration, believe it or not, this is what you see:

Bullseye.
Kunitz takes some other penalty at the end of the period but it's whatevs.

The second is the Evgeni Malkin Demolition Company bringing in the wrecking ball. Shift after shift he's having all kinds of sex with the puck. Halak keeps his erection long enough to stop him. But he went all soft when Malkin banged around for awhile and made some room for Letestu to thread it back to the point.
Orpik to Gonchar to FUCK YOU.
The crowd spends the rest of the period remembering last season's Conn Smythe performance from Malkin. There were shades of it.
Blahblahblah Pens get a PP. Not much happening on that.

You feel comfy heading into the third, and with good reason: the crowd is in it, the boys are in it.
Early on a Letestu vs. Halak moment moves in slow motion. You think it's a goal. But Halak's glove has other ideas.
It happened so fast no one even took a picture. Sucks.
Both teams play all kinds of defense. Letang makes the kind of strong plays and shot-blocking that have the ladies everywhere salivating.
Montreal pressures a little but it's whatevs.
On a power play and with the net empty, Mike Cammalleri jizzes one in with about 30 left.
It's whatevs. We had some of our agents look at the goal and they informed the Canadiens that it was meaningless.
Can you spot the ominous object in this photograph?
Habs should've known they were done for.

Fleury with another bounce-back game.
epic jobbing of Gomez
epic jobbing of this puck
As Mark Eaton displays, there are moments when the Epitome of American Heroism can merge with the Quebecois.
We have no hatred for Quebec, Montreal, or their people.
In the unforgettable words of Ilya Bryzgalov, it's hockey, you know? It's only game!
We have a fucking hockey team to beat.
We have unicorn power, championship goaltending, and all kinds of wrecking crew members lurking in the wings. Craig Fucking Adams especially was owning the world today.

Finish it.
Monday.
GO PENS.

a P.S. for San Jose, currently tied with Detroit at 1 near the end of the 2nd:
Finish them
Go Sharks.

LATE EDIT:
GOODNIGHT
DE-TROIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
~~_~_~!!~~!~~~~!!!!!!!
San Jose stepped up, Detroit didn't. Fuck the haters.
For all of those moments when the hockey media said not to count the Wings out even though they were playing like petulant children.
Joe Thornton is hoarse and creeping on Lindsay Soto on Versus and it's sexy as balls.
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
So cold in the D.

And now the Sharks enter the ring of Potential Enemies. Sorry lads.
GO PENS.