you won't fool the children of the revolution

We'll allow the grammar fail here in the interest of greater things.
Which is to explain: when your forward lines have a scoring strategy other than "fly down the wing and shoot from the circles," goaltending takes on entirely new dimensions.
We like Jaro. He was good for Slovakia in the Olympics, and man has some talent.
But he was in the wrong zone to play the Pens tonight, and the Pens were in his head.

The opening minutes of this game were sleepy. Fleury got smoked less than five minutes in by P.K. Subban. The fuck kind of goal was that?
. . .whatever.
Obviously giving up the first goal repeatedly in hockey games doesn't phase us whatsoever.
The Canadiens decide to put the hammer down with their power play. . .
and, remembering the vaunted success of their PK against the top guns of the Washington Capitals, decided that Gionta tripping some fuckers was no big.
Russia and Ktang team up to change their tunes right quick, and it's 1-1. Gonchar's poise on the power play is seriously unmatched. Versus couldn't resist jobbing Ben Roethlisberger on-air about who the "best quarterback in Pittsburgh" is. We could have told you fuckers that, jeez.
From then on, we started having our way with Montreal. Sadly, Andrei Markov went down awkwardly on a clean shoulder-directed hit from Matt Cooke:
Their days were numbered after that, let's be honest.
The annoying thing about this is that a.) we never like to see anyone really hurt, and b.) it means they can play for JUSTICE for the rest of the series.
Over/under on how many pissed off fanboys in Montreal who want Cooke's head?
Anyone?
Hit was clean.
Mark Eaton dropped the gloves to settle shit down after the Habs tackled Mattie. Wasn't classified as a fight on the scoresheet, but it definitely calmed everything to the point that the violence of the game was translated to hockey plays and not headhunting.
Solid playoff move.

Jordan Staal waltzes into the slot late on a PP that came out of that scrum.
That dude behind Staal looks like the Mouth of Sauron.
How good is Montreal's PK supposed to be again?
2-1

Soon after Crosby lays a big hit on Josh Gorges. Momentum.

Early in the second, another PP, and Ktang sends it to the back of the net.
We'd show you a picture but there are for some reasons more pictures of Markov leaving the ice than there are photos of goals/goal celebrations.
Canadian media conspiracy, clearly.
What a pass by Crosby to set Letang up.
Montreal's PK is so good.
Right after the goal, another huge hit by someone not considered to be way physical when Ponikarovsky lays into O'Byrne.
All kinds of tone-setting going on.
Fleury makes some saves, both little and big, to keep the faith.
The big story of the night is that Jordan Staal fell down, limped to the bench, didn't return, and reportedly left the arena on crutches.
If Jordan Staal misses a game we start looking for Vogons in the sky.
ugh

But, moving along:
We'd show you Cammalleri scoring, but God hates him and no one took a picture.
Montreal fans get into some kind of Canadian hugging contest after the big goal:
THANK GOD

Never you mind. Let's not start sucking each other's dicks quite yet.
Matt Cooke, Pascal Dupuis, and Craig Fucking Adams set up a play. Cooke drops it back to Dupes who rockets it to Craigsy's tape and it ends up behind Jaroslav.
In the words of the Versus announcers, "That's hockey!"
The look on Adams' face says everything you need to know about what just happened.
Straight up pimp.
Halak is despondent.
Sorry boo. These things have to happen.

Early in the third, at the tail end of yet another power play, Crosby sends like Most Gorgeous Pass Part Deux to Alex Goligoski on the Whitney Play.
After the Pens pour it on some more everyone decides it's Carey Time:
He kept his team in it.
Talbot and Malkin both had breaks and missed.

Pens get some penalties and the Habs eventually capitalize via Brian Gionta.
It's still a two goal game.
But time is their enemy.
They pull Price eventually and the puck gets to Billy G:
Just a bunch of bros bro-ing out.
6-3
HAAAAAAAALLLLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAK
Pens win.

What's that Jacques Martin?
Oh, were you looking at these GQ motherfuckers?
Check the banner in the background (click for full-size if you can't see it).
We have allies in important places.

And the battle has only just begun.
But really. . .100% on the PP? We're goin' crazy.
And if Staal is injured, we oughta go out there and win it for him. Man is a fucking 21-year-old battleship.
See you fuckers Sunday.
Woooooooooooooooo
GO PENS.

EDIT: Staal out for rest of season.
Torn tendon in ankle.
Sheeeeeeeeeeeeeittttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt
balls
win it for Uncle Jordy, boys.
GO PENS

EDIT II:
Jordy is apparently day-to-day and TSN lied to us all.
S'okay.
GO PENS.