I had to sign up for a "Blingee Plus" account.
Sort of unsettling.
Ya'll know what's up.
Tanger, 4 more years, $3.5 million cap hit.
Unicorns and so on.
Some people think this is the best news in the world of the Penguins for the past ten thousand years, save that whole winning the cup business.
Others are like "srsly wtf, why."
Some think that Gonch is curtains.
Blahblahblah, we hate "some people" and don't care what they say.
Here's what we think.
We like Tanger.
He's spirited, a great player, and has the magical blood of a mythological creature.
Also, he provides us with photos like this:
However, there are times where we want to kind of ring him 'round the ears, as our grandmothers would say, because he's overemotional, and when he gets down, it takes him an awful lot to buck back up. Almost never happens in the same game, in fact. One mistake gets him in this weird mood, and he's bound to make more.
We'll keep him.
However, not in the face of losing Gonch.
Tang isn't worth 3.5 a year (unless he starts trending upwards, which we're yet to see enough evidence of), but the reality is that Gonch is getting old. He might take a short-term deal at a discount and we might get both.
Those of you who think the extension has him locked down, don't get too comfortable. Tanger has been our idea of tradebait for some time, and he still is. Remember the extension Whits got? He was still splitscity the moment we decided we needed to make some better moves.
So who knows?
In sHero we trust, obviously.
Either way, right now, we're mildly-pleased-to-indifferent about this move.
Sorry to the Lemangs and Tang fangirls.
Tomorrow we be playin' this man.
Brother Steven has 45 goals.
We mean, like, real goals.
As is, right behind Cappy and Ovie.
No, we mean it.
Yeah, we know, right?
What the fuck.
Despite Brother Steven apparently deciding that he wants to play hockey for a living, this game should be pretty easy for us to throw into the efforts of leading the division.
Who wants Jersey to win, like, anything?
And so will the Pens.
Forgive any shortness in the coming days.
I am Queen Mono of the Diseased Kingdom of Philly.
Take pity. And do tribal dances for my wellness.
More importantly, dance for the Pens.
Are you dancing?