Sunday, February 21, 2010



USA wins 5-3.
Moar later.


Holly Jameson said...

*Gets the moose ready and taunts the polar bears*

I'm so bitter about the game. Won't touch on that now.

Did hear something funny about Brodeur though:

Breaking News: Martin Brodeur just jumped in front of a bus. He's okay, it went through his legs.

Ashferddd said...

I'm still crying over this. I love you all. Woooooo.


overunity said...

@Holly Jameson:

It's okay, Canada just figured that straight wins wouldn't provide enough hockey. Better to lose a few and take the long road to the gold. Now that Brodeur has proven his worth as a baseball player maybe he'll leave the net and make room for Luongo.

bluzdude said...

Great game. USA won, Sid got a goal and Brooksie was all over the place.

I can't ask for much more...

MouthGuard said...

Full disclosure: It's still my motherfucking birthday in my time zone. I'm officially 5 days older than dirt. Happy Lame-Ass Birthday To Me. I'm an old, petulant, bitter beeotch but I still smell nice, goddammit.

Fuller disclosure: I made 3 wishes this morning as I gazed upon my birthday candle on my maple cream pie for breakfast. ONE OF THOSE WISHES DID NOT COME TRUE. Obviously. But there's still hope for the other two!

Shameful but understandable admission: I think one of my other wishes might have "cancelled out" the first one. Ryan Miller is one of my boyfriends and I think we can acknowledge that he played the game of his life today. Plus he's a Cancer. FIGURES! Fucker. Fuck Cancer men, man!!! Ruiners. But they ruin SO VERY ARTFULLY. Crabass curmudge.

Perfect photo of MBro, bitches. I noticed how ex-specially fat he looked when I was on my fifth ginger lemon elderflower martini spiked with ambien oh like I don't know somewhere during the second motherfucking period. snort snort snort

Fuck birthdays and lame-ass birthday wishes. Birthdays are for CHUMPS! I should have learned by now. What happened to champagne wishes and caviar dreams? A lot can happen in a week.

So now I'm preparing to turn back into a turnip/gourd of my choice when the clock strikes midnight and it is no longer my birthday. I can sulk if I want. poop

Megs said...

Today's USA game made me scream "Oh motherfuckin' hell yeah." I think I noticed the difference between USA and Canada... Team USA has chemistry, whereas Canada has nothing but star power. To be good, you need a good blend it seems. While I'm happy and thrilled about this game, I felt bad for Sid. Watching him walk off the ice looking all moody was not fun. My mom even said "Looks like somebody isn't sleeping tonight."

I also realize that this loss for Canada is painful like extremely painful. The closest thing I can imagine is how the US would've felt had the 1992 Mens Olympic Basketball team (you know the Dream team) had lost a major game.

Okay now back to Team USA happy thoughts...

Brooksie is doing an olympic diary.

Can I just say that it's fucking hot that him and Bugsy are roommates? Sha-wing!

One final thing...Fuck Sweden. I'm watching this game, because I have a dear friend from Helsinki, Finland. I feel bad about this game actually, so I probably won't finish watching it. Knowing it, my friend right now is saying "Fuck team Sweden. Those pigs..." She calls the Swedes pigs. Apparently, there's a huge nasty bloody rivilary between the two countries. Currently the score is 3 - 0 and yes, this burns.

@Mouthguard - Happy Birthday!

MouthGuard said...

@Megs: Thanks, girfren. My maple cream pie rocked my morning!

You hit the nail on the proverbial head regarding Team Canada's startling lack of chemistry. It's amazing, actually. By contrast, Team USA is clicking, Rafalski is on fire and Ryan Miller is a fucking sumo wrestler. His pudgy counterpart on the other end, on the other hand, just LOOKED like a sumo wrestler. He certainly didn't perform or intimidate like one.

As with everything, it really is down to hungry. Who's hungry? And who's gonna lose their lunch on the dots?

C'mon clock rock me to sleep. Make the universe right again, and turn me back into a turnip or a rutabaga or something. Life is kinkier as a root vegetable.

Annie S said...

This game was a FUCKING RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCE for several of us. Holy shit.

It was incredibly weird cheering for Rafalski goals and swearing over Sidney's. What a game though. I just keep repeating in my head, holy shit holy shit.

And Brooksie has an Olympic diary? Hell to the mothafuckin yes! This made me heppeh. Brooks, I'd let you do whatever you'd like to me, any time and anywhere you wanted. Love this team, and love my bitches. You know who you are. ;D

We can do this shit. Herb Brooks is with us.

Ashferddd said...

yeahhhhhhhhhhhhh preach it, Annie! We both totally prayed to Herb Brooks, especially during the third period. What an experience. If I ever had a religious calling, last night was IT. I'm still crying over it ten hours later. Yay I'm a joke woooooooooo.

CrackerLilo said...

@ Holly Jameson: That's awesome! I'm perfectly fine with Brodeur being the team goat.

@ Mouthguard: I hope this year's a good one for you, even if you didn't like how it started!

@ Megs: I was in the hospital, hours out of surgery and connected to a morphine pump (seriously) when I watched the Canada v. Switzerland game. I could see even then that Team Canada just wasn't clicking for whatever reason, and boy, last night proved me right. Isn't it interesting how, say, Jarome Iginla looks better than Bill Guerin on paper, and yet Guerin clicked almost instantly on Crosby's right wing and Iginla didn't? USA's a very good team right now, and Canada's a random collection of very good players. And I'd have bet money on Canada if I bet on the Olympics, too.

I wanted to hug Sid. I always like athletes who are easy to read, and his face said a lot. However, I'm sure he'll be okay arriving at his 23rd birthday with one professional goal still out of reach. As a Penguins fan, I'm hoping he's learned that Brodeur is beatable--can actually be very beatable--and picked up a few things by practicing against him.

*goes to read Orpik's Olympics diary*

Strudel said...

Oh my God, that game was amazing!

It was a new experience to not be cheering for Sid, although I did feel bad for him when I saw his face after the game.

I don't think my downstairs neighbors are thrilled with me for all the jumping and yelling that was going on.

MouthGuard said...

@CrackerLilo: Thank you for the happy mojo and I hope you are recovering from your surgery. Morphine, eh? Damn. Surgery blows enough as it is if you're a woman, but here's awful proof that it blows even worse if you're a dude. It's horrible, but can you imagine what would happen if this "mishap" occurred to like *insert-name-of-detested-NHL-player-du-jour here*? Can you imagine the locker room chatter that would ensue about ****** ******* who newly farts out of his wiener and pees out of his butt? Playing hockey like like you're farting out of your wiener is one thing, but when it actually comes to pass from a medical standpoint... Male plumbing. Wow.

As a comic in all seriousness, I was quite moved by your paragraph about wanting to hug Chachi following the game. Very heartfelt and thoughtful. It's been said a lot but when someone achieves extraordinary accomplishments early in life, it can be easy to forget that the person is still young, after all, and is never immune from disappointments and downs. Those disappointments and downs build character and challenge you to look at life differently. And veterans like Pronger and Niedermayer are also being forced to rethink their approach in these Games; we shall see if forsaking their Werther's Original Butterscotch Candies and easing up on the DulcoLax will help them focus on protecting their goalie just a little bit better. :)

I am in a much better place, now. I enjoyed a restful night of sleep as a rutabaga, and awoke refreshed and rejuvinated following The Lamest Birthday Ever. Birthdays are indeed for chumps. Feh.

And I neglected to mention how happy I am for Geno following his classy performance yesterday. He's demonstrating that it's possible - and necessary - to kick ass on Team Douche even if you're not necessarily part of that fetid CapiTOOL clique. It's not O-felchkin's show. Way to go 71, even though you're not allowed to wear 71 on Team Douche.

Need Ice In Phoenix said...

So it looks like Luuuuuuongo in goal tomorrow. Not a huge surprise. I hope MAF at least gets to suit up as #2 like he did for the SUI game.

What a fucking weird game to watch yesterday. I'm rooting for Canada but I still can't root against USA. I love Orps and he was a stud yesterday getting Sid sent to the sin bin. Sid was his usual self getting that late goal.

@Megs - I think you hit the nail. Team USA has the chemistry and Canada has the stars. Babcock better put on his lab coat and get to work if he wants his team to make it to the final round.

CrackerLilo said...

@ MouthGuard: I'm hurting today and the surgeon told me and my boss I need two more days off from work, so thank you for the bracing dose of perspective! Things could be tons worse! And yes, it would be rather unfortunate if that happened to...well, fill in the blank yourself. ;-) I'm glad you're doing better, too.

We totally should have been talking about how beast Geno was with those two goals last night! Proud of him! It's much easier to cheer for Team Russia as my backup with him and Gonchar on the team. He keeps that up, and it'll be "Alex Who?" (Well, I can dream.)

@ Need Ice: I love the idea of Luongo in net, Fleury on the edge of his seat, and Brodeur in a suit pouting in the press box. I still want USA to get gold, but I'd like to see Canada redeem themselves against Germany, too.

Holly Jameson said...

Can't help it: Still bitter. But after serious window shopping (just wait until my tax return gets deposited) on Ebay I have enough stuff lined up that I'm starting to feel a little bit better about the whole thing. Maybe overunity is right and we're just being drama queens. Canadians are known for some badass actors, some of them were bound to double major in awesome hockey skills too.

Happy Birthday MouthGuard! I'm glad your Maple Cream Pie was full of awesomeness and that you had enough booze to sustain you. I wish I had been drinking but I had to work this morning. All the bad shit happens when I can't drink!! Feeling bitter again.

I did not watch the very end to see Sid's sadness. I'm glad I missed it, I'm sure I would've cried for the guy. I turned the TV off after the empty net goal.

But I have to say, even though I don't want Ovechkin to have any reason to celebrate I was very very excited to see Malkin do so well!! Way to go!

If we lose to Germany I will not be pouting, I will be busy with a string of arsons and summoning the troops.

MouthGuard said...

@CrackerLilo: I'm glad to hear that you're taking it easy, that your gas pipes escaped peril in the OR and most of all, that you are remaining heavily medicated 24/7. Whatever you do, remain very VERY medicated. I'll sign whatever testimonial you need for work, too. "Dr. Steve" is one of my pseudonyms.

@Need Ice: Orpik pissed off Chachi? This must have happened during the - wait for it - first 3 minutes of the third period when we had a power surge and lost our satellite? Yeah. See what I mean about just how much my birthday sucked? I missed that part, too. When it came back on, Chachi was preparing to exit the box but I had no idea why he was in there in the first place. Grrrr!

@Holly Jameson: Woman, I understand and appreciate the bitter. I feel better, but I still feel the bitter. I am trying not to become "one" with said bitter. Assembling a team for the Olympics isn't a perfect science, but jeeeeebus they had how many months to figure it out? They picked guys who aren't feeling each other - in fact, it's looking like it's all they can do to keep from literally plowing into each other on the ice (referencing that embarrassing Benny Hill-like "collision" that almost took Perry out of the game). They aren't paying attention to or reading each other. You might even get the impression that they all spoke a different language or something. And all those futile passes to nobody; it wasn't slop, it was just blindly assuming somebody would be there to pick up the pass when nobody was there. It's not a perfect science, but it's confounding nonetheless. I don't necessarily want them to win anymore but I want them to play well and most of all, I want them to at least LOOK LIKE THEY'RE HAVING FUN. They look like they've just had accidental surgery that makes them fart out of their wieners and pee out of their buttholes. NEITHER FUN NOR FUNNY! feh poop snort

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Puck Huffers by Kimberly Davidson and Zoƫ Hayden is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License.