Wednesday, February 24, 2010

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This page should probably be your life for the next couple of days.

For the eight teams still in the running, it's three victories to a gold medal.
The stakes are huge at this point, and if you've made it this far, you probably have a chance. Face it.

The United States will play Switzerland at 3PM EST.
We have Jonas to get through.
Not the hardest thing in the world to do but it shouldn't be taken lightly.

Finland-Czech Republic at 10PM EST.
If you're gonna be up late Sweden-Slovakia is at midnight.

But the big deal here is Canada-Russia. At 7:30PM EST, two teams that were favorites to medal have the chance to destroy each other's dreams. We, as the United States of America, made this possible. It's a gift and a curse.
versus
fuck

Oh yeah and like the 5429054230 other talented people involved in this game.
Babcock is starting Luongo, which he probably saw in tea leaves.
We're guessing Nabokov in goal for the Russians because we don't actually know. He was 92% against the Czechs.
If we were coaching Russia we'd start Bryz because we believe that every time Bryz puts his pads on he wants to play the game of his life. But Nabby is good and there's a reason we're not coaches.

How to handle this game?
We don't know.
Who do you root for? We have favorite players on both teams.
Rooting for Russia is basically rooting against the hopes and dreams of an entire nation.
We don't know if that's a good thing or not.
All we can do is watch.
We're wary of standing with Canada here. We love Canada but have reason to distrust them.
You just have to appreciate what you're going to see tonight.
Hopefully a game for the ages.
Canada didn't so much earn the right to play Russia as shit on Germany's face before looking out the window to see Russia trying to park their car on the lawn.
Bizarre times.

But we will worry about Switzerland first.
They will be dealt with.
USA! USA! USA!
Ain't no fucking reason to stop now.
Go boys go.

13 comments:

CrackerLilo said...

I kinda feel like I've been dining at the All-You-Can-Eat Hockey Buffet during this Olympics. Tons to choose from, some of it really enjoyable, but none of it what I really want.

Jonas Hiller has been on fire; I don't underestimate him.

I *hate* that Canada and Russia are playing in this round! May absolutely no Penguins be harmed or return to Pittsburgh with grudges against each other tonight.

Bandit'sgirl said...

Sid vs Geno. And Gonchar in the mix too. I hate Penguins playing against each other. I'm going for Canada. (for Gold too :P) I just was hoping this wouldn't happen so soon.

Need Ice In Phoenix said...

@Cracker - All-You-Can-Eat Hockey . . . I love it!!! LOL!

If Russia parked their car on the lawn in Vancouver then it has probably sunk into the mud by now so hopefully that will slow them down.

GO CANADA!!! (and protect your knees)

MouthGuard said...

I think we've all had dinner on our the collective subconscious since seeing that cannibalistic photo of Orpik & Chachi. ;) It spewed out of me in the form of "succulent beefy orb asscheeks" (never living that one down, trust!); Need Ice had to do the "fava bean" and now Cracker's gone and sealed the deal by going all "all-you-can-eat hockey buffet"... Should we go to our neighborhood Denny's when this bullshit is all over? Is that what we're really trying to say?

At least WE'RE hungry. Again, who's hungry? Let's sit back and see. One team's gonna be singing this when the Pacific sunshine finally sets today, though. "Any way the wind blows..."

Bradford said...

USA USA USA USA!!!!! WE ARE GONNA WIN GOLD BITCHES!!!!

utterfrivolity said...

I'm pretty much on board with rooting against the hopes and dreams of an entire nation, but it's a damn shame that this match is coming in the quarterfinals. wtf, Canada, you couldn't even manage a fifth seed? I would've had no problem with Canada beating Finland, only to be humiliated by the US in the semi-finals or something.

Anyway, I think everyone who's conflicted about this match should consider that it's Canada's fault that these teams are facing each other so early. I will be seriously pissed if Canada's shitty play in the early round costs Russia their chance at a well-deserved medal.

MouthGuard said...

Oh me oh my.

Look who ate a truck full of maple cream pies.

Hungry hungry hungry...

Need Ice In Phoenix said...

So I guess Babcock finally got the right brew going in his magic pot.

CANADA 7 - RUSSIA 3

WTF?!!!! Way to go CANADA!!!

On a side note, I'm glad no one got hurt but I can't help but believe that Semin desires to be the next Sean Avery. What a fucking PUNK! That idiot is going to destroy his own career. Sad!

GO CANADA!!!

CrackerLilo said...

Glad y'all liked the All-You-Can-Eat Hockey Buffet thing. :-)

Wow, that sucked. Either way, I knew it was going to kinda suck. When Gonchar scored that power play goal and Ovechkin hugged him, did anyone else feel like hollering, "Get your hands off our defenseman!"? At least Bryz got into net, and Luongo proved himself.

@ MouthGuard: I'm hungry because I've only been able to keep down soup and tea for a week. Canada, however, was out for Russian blood!

@ utterfrivolity: Unfortunately, I think it was Russia who cost themselves a chance to medal tonight. They showed up late to the game and embarrassed themselves worse than Evgeni Plushenko claiming he had the "platinum medal."

@ Need Ice: Semin is making himself very easy to hate. I think we can all agree it's a good thing that he's going home empty-handed, even though it also means Malkin and Gonchar are.

utterfrivolity said...

@CrackerLilo - Yeah, this game pretty much sucked. No doubt that the Russians lost themselves the game, but I'm currently channeling most of my anger toward their coach. He could've at least given them a chance to get their shit back together and mount a comeback by putting Bryz in earlier. Not a fun game to watch.

Extra bitterness: Ovechkin's the captain of my Rinkotology team. It's all downhill from here...

Rachel said...

Although I am in most part rooting for the US, I'm kind of sad there will be no Canada vs. Russia gold metal match. To me, it kinda felt like the closest the Olympics could've come to Game 7 last year, with the intense rivalry and do-or-die feel and all. Oh well. I'm a sports thrill seeker, what can I say? D:

By the way, the post before this was epic as fuck. When my ex broke up with me not too long ago, I thought to myself, "Well, at least there was a hockey game on tonight" (among other things like OH GOD DYING ALIVE etc. but, point is, you were right about hockey always being a constant).

utterfrivolity said...

Cannot believe that Sweden just got upset by Slovakia. Between Sweden and Russia, so many players I love have been eliminated tonight. I feel kinda numb.

On the bright side, I can now focus all my emotional attention on rooting for the US.

CrackerLilo said...

@ utterfrivolity: Ooooh, bad hockey night for you! Sorry about that.

Keeping with the "food" theme, I decided to post an actual food recipe on my blog. A bit of vegetarian comfort food for Russians all over the world: Not Even a Bronze Borscht. No Capitals players named Alexander can have any!

Too bad that once again, the USA mens' semi-final game is scheduled way too early to kick back and have a red-white-and-blue cocktail. And again, it's on a workday. I'm beginning to really hate NBC, and thinking maybe I don't even need to watch the Office or Heroes anymore.

 
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