Thursday, December 3, 2009

EVERYDAY TASKS WITH THE PENS

Today we tag along for
A SATURDAY NIGHT IN WITH SIDNEY CROSBY
Our film crew had asked Sid if he wanted to do anything in particular for his everyday task, but he insisted that we just come over on Saturday night to "hang out." We show up at the Lemieux residence, but the family appears to be elsewhere for the evening. Sid answers the door and promptly shows us to the living room, where he picks up the phone, saying, "Yeah, sorry, I'm just ordering us pizza!"

"Sorry about that," he says to the pizza people on the other end of the line. "Yeah. Three large pizzas. Extra cheese with sausage." He covers the mouthpiece, and starts to ask us if that's okay for us, and we nod emphatically. PH Documentary Film Crew is not used to this free food treatment. He finishes the order and gives the address, and then sits back down at the couch, where his laptop has been sitting all this time.



"I have iTunes up. I'm getting all of the shows I need to watch--there's a wifi link between my computer and the cable box so it's basically like Tivo. This is our only night off this week so I'm going to make the absolute best of it. Mainly I need to catch up on Gossip Girl. And I'm starting to do Mad Men from season 1. I also have some DVDs of Mystery Science Theater over by the TV."
We turn to the direction that he indicates, realizing that the entire far wall is actually a television. "What do you guys want to watch first?"

We decide on Gossip Girl. The film crew doesn't know what to film and documents a short walking tour of the living room before settling on the screen again. Sid is at least passively aware of the mechanics of the show, interjecting private jokes to us throughout. When we admit that we haven't been following the show that closely this season, he smirks, as if he knows what we're missing.

The pizza arrives 45 minutes on the dot after Sid placed his order. We know because some buzzer sounds deep within the Lemieux Compound. Sid has to walk out to the gate, which he does cheerfully in his shorts and flip flops, and returns with a piece of pizza already half-in his mouth. "I fucking love Pizza Hut," he says. "It's so greasy and disgusting, but I love it. Try to keep this on the down-low."

When we remind Mr. Crosby that in accepting the PH Documentary Film Crew into his home he has waived all expectations of privacy, he sighs, as if he's quite used to this by now.

"Do you guys like ping-pong?" he asks during the Gossip Girl credits.
"Uhh. . .sure?"
"Do you guys have a ping-pong table at your place?"
"No. . ."
"God damn it, I was hoping we could go over there. Mario won't get a ping-pong table. Says it would be too much of a distraction while he's trying to, you know, manage the empire and all."
"Empire?"
Sid giggles, as if we were being facetious, and continues. "Do you guys have any other games at your house? Maybe Clue? I miss Clue."
We tell Sid that we might have Monopoly and Settlers of Catan, but we'd have to go home and check.
"Settlers of Catan? Holy shit! But naw guys. . .don't go through all that trouble for me. . .are you sure you don't want some more pizza?"
We gladly consume extra slices of Sid's sausage pizza, and politely ask Sid if we can take our leave, as it seems to be getting quite late.

"Sure guys! Thanks for coming over! Next time bring your board games!"

We now know how the beautiful people spend their weekends.



Anyway.
We know we're super late on this, but watch the 11-round Hawks/BJs shootout from a few days ago.

Watch Stevey's rage at the end.
Hookers of Columbus beware.

Oh yeah. . .and Avalanche at Mellon tonight.
We're on it this time, trust us.
We love you.
GO PENS.

19 comments:

Need Ice In Phoenix said...

"Mario won't get a ping-pong table. Says it would be too much of a distraction while he's trying to, you know, manage the empire and all." LOL!

The truth is that they used to have a ping-pong table but it was Mario's wife who got rid of it. Neither Sid nor Mario like to lose so things would get nasty when they played each other.

Boys.

mer said...

Settlers of CATAN???? I love you, Sid. Let's get married.

Ashferddd said...

Sid wants to play Clue? I'll play Clue! I particularly like the pizza with extra sausage from Pizza Hut. Om nom nom. Then maybe I'll burn off the grease when I buy that ping pong table just for him.

stoopidful said...

OK - as if there were ever any doubt, but there is now photographic evidence that Kris "Le Unicorn" Letang reads PH. In the Pens and Paws calendar, Kris is clearly shown making an old ginger his bitch.

ANovak017 said...

Stevie..that pretty much broke my heart, even though his girlfriend is hot as shit.

It took me a couple minutes to actually read this post b/c the title was too good. The sad thing is that you know that's what does. I'm sure he TiVo's Glee or Biggest Loser.

TP said...

Umm, what about catching up on all those missed episodes of Canada's 2nd greatest export, "Degrassi?" Or does Sid not care anymore now that Jimmy, Marco, Paige, and the gang have moved on. Who cares about Darcy's sister and Peter-the-instant-meth-addict?

Nat said...

I'm gonna go ahead and make the obvious-yet-somewhat-embarrassing comment here. I love Sidney Crosby. It took awhile. He had to work some kinks out, but he took care of his business. And now he is just a glorious specimen of man.

A wonderful Everyday Task ... because you know it's probably frighteningly accurate.

laurrrabeth said...

sid i fucking love pizza hut too!
wow. thaks for making my day, bitches. best one yet. you sealed the deal with the flip flops

Annie S said...

I love Sid so much. I just kind of want to be his best friend. We can hang out and watch Friends and eat pizza and play video games... I just have this sad image of him being kind of lonely and sad when he's not playing hockey.

I deeply enjoyed this ETWTP. You know it's what actually happens behind the scenes. ;)

Need Ice In Phoenix said...

I want to fix him up with Alyonka. I know she eats pizza and she plays tennis which is also a fav of Sid. I think she could bring him out of his shell and it would make AO crazy to see them together.

Sid + Aly

Need Ice In Phoenix said...

Here is the Blingee I couldn't figure out how to post yesterday.

@TP
Thanks for your help. I'm addicted now.

This was my first attempt at making a Blingee. This photo rocks!

Wack-A-DoucheBag

CrackerLilo said...

This is so awesome. Like lots of others, I can kinda envision this being his Saturday night. (But mine's often cuddling up on the couch with Beloved and the cats, watching him and the rest of the team play, so I can't say much.) And as usual, the camera crew leaves with knowledge they're not sure they wanted...

@ Need Ice: Love the Blingee. That original picture is my computer wallpaper at work at the moment. (I'm surrounded by Rangers fans.) Love-LOVE the title. Love the idea of that fix-up, too: "You had me at 'It would drive Ovie crazy.'"

utterfrivolity said...

I don't know how you guys are going to top this one. Brilliant. And, as others have said, extremely plausible. This is why I can't really hate Crosby. He's kinda a tool, but his earnestness is endearing.

EHisCDN said...

When I first read the title I read "A Saturday Night IN Sidney Crosby"...

I loved it! I would totally sit through an episode of Gossip Girl (I friggin hate Chuck Bass the ugly tard) if Sid was sitting next to me. I agree with whoever mentioned Degrassi, a much better show IMO (although the storylines used to be better...)

Megs said...

I really don't think Sid would be into Gossip Girl. He seems more like a CSI nerd. As for the Degrassi, oh hell yes baby. Back in college, my friends and I would watch that shit till our eyes bled, but I haven't watched much in like 2 years. So yeah my conclusion... he watches Law and Order, CSI or even CSI Miami, True Blood, Mad Men and Degrassi. I also get this sinking suspicion he watches occasional episodes of stuff from the Discovery or Travel Channel.. you know things like No Reservations with Anthony Bourdain, Mythbusters, and Dirty Jobs.

Aside from the watching of Gossip Girl, I find this entry to most likely be pretty damn accurate and extremely awesome. I would, however, hope he had better taste in pizza. Not that I don't like Pizza Hut, but there's better shit out there. Besides, I would think he'd get Chinese food delivered to the house instead of pizza.

Now to be a total dork...If I were to hang out with him and some of my friends, we'd be playing Uno and Risk. Also, I would take him to my neighborhood bar that has a ping-pong table. Seriously he could hide out in my part of the world. Nobody in Frostburg would know who he is!

@Nat - Amen to what you said. That's how I am. It's not a guilty pleasure either. When I got back into hockey, I knew he was awesome on the ice but didn't think much of him until this past spring. I saw that documentary on him and it really changed my opinion. Not that I think he's cool, but he's strangely relate-able.

@TP - +2 for the Degrassi!

@ANovak017 - Who has a girlfriend? I'm assuming you're talking about Letang?

@Annie S - Amen to what you said. I sincerely hope he does have something in his life off the ice that makes him happy. I heard that he loves movies, which is really awesome because I minored in film studies.

@Needs Ice in Phoenix - Awesome Blingee! That made my day if not my week. Is it true that Mario's wife got rid of their ping-pong table? lol.

As for the fix up...No don't do it. While driving Ovie crazy would be funny, it would take away the hopes and dreams of a lot of girls. I would like to think Sid isn't a modelizer and would go for normal girls. Okay, I guess I better fess up to something... I'm currently using him as motivation to get into shape. Though my odds of ever meeting him, let alone getting a date, are slim to none, the idea of it happening makes working my ass off totally worth it. If he actually was dating Alyonka, it would just ruin my workout plan lol. (That doesn't sound pathetic right?)

Caitlin said...

i had a shitty day at work today. coming home to read about sid watching gossip girl totaly made my day.

i'm flying out to pittsburgh in about 5 hours... if someone DVRs the game look for me and my lame sign (never have brought a sign to a sporting event in my entire life- oh what i will do for my Pens...)

it'll say something about SoCal or San Diego. if i get on, anyone who captures a screencap for me is my new bff.

Strudel said...

Oh, wow! This post is amazing! Oh, Sid...

@Megs - Don't worry, he's been my motivation to get into shape, too.
And I also hope he has better taste in pizza. I worked for The Hut for two years. That would definitely not be my first choice for food.

Loser Domi said...

this is why I need to come here more often

MarieMacCee said...

@ Caitlyn,
Why would your sign say something about SoCal or San Diego? I only ask since I'm from SD and i wouldn't want ppl talking smack about my hometown on TV


....unless its to refer to it as 'a whale's vagina'

 
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