Saturday, November 21, 2009

oh baby you, you got what I neeeeed


So, I flip the game on and the first words I hear are "Look at all the Russians in this game!" Instantly pumped.

Factoid of the night: Thrashers goalie Hedberg, our former backup goalie, was traded to Vancouver for a draft pick. Our pick was Gogo.

Sweet.

The game starts and I really am mesmerized by the all of the russian on my screen. It's apparently sold out, but that means different things in the deep south than in the Mellon. All I see is a sea of empty blue chairs.

They're cycling, passing and then I hear Steigerwald say three little words:
"…passes to Talbot."
Chills shoot down my spine. A lone tear rolls slowly down my cheek. This will never get old.

Malks draws a penalty and they are allllll over it. Sid is firing off shots as his pack of Emergen-C kicks in. Skoula shoots from the blue line and the puck dodges and weaves through approximately every single person on the ice before making it in.


1-0

Army makes me gasp as he almost upsets MAF, Sid retaliates by making Evander Kane look completely out of place in the league, and the period comes to a close. Short and sweet, until...

Danny's Moment of Supreme Awkwardness



Who else? He interviews Skoula who has his second goal of the week. Danny tries to be funny, maybe tries to get Skoula to say "oh, pshaw" and his best effort is to call him "Mr. Red Hott." I'm editorializing the spelling, because clearly he is a man who deserves two t's. Skoula looks straight ahead and refuses to aknowledge this failed nickname. Good man, that Hott. Gotta get that dirt off your shoulder.

Steigy talks about his Tyler Kennedy sighting. TK was on the ice practicing earlier and then Errey makes it weird by calling him Tiger and saying that "all his body parts were moving". Moving on.

Second period, and Colby is everywhere. He's even stealing passes from Orpik... He is carrying this team on his shoulder.

Also, a ghetto blaster.

Matty Cooke passes to Skoula who puts it in the net. Again. Steigy is beyond amused by this Skoula situation and is giggling uncontrollably. He has a broad face and a little round belly, that shakes when he laughs, like a bowl full of jelly.

Suuuucks.

2-0

The giggles are still echoing in my head when Rupp goes pretty much into the net and Malkin puts it in with help from some Thrasher's ass that deflects it in. Apparently Hedberg is "beside himself." Literally? Because that might be more effective than whatever he is doing.


3-0

Danny continues to be a creeper and reports on a photo of Colby and his wife, who is expecting. Potash is the Liz Smith of the NHL, so he gives us a list of all the Penguins who attended the wedding. The bride wore white, Colbs continued to be pasty pale, and Siddo could not make it because he was busy doing Captain things.


What a natty dresser. That wing collar is sharp.

Max has a breakaway, but is taken down, so he gets a penalty shot. Colby is mic'ed and is sooo not feeling this "did not get a quality shot off" explanation. His sarcastic comeback to the zebra is about a 2 minute long "reaaaalllllllyyyy….."



Note to NHL brass: MaxTal would like you to use different wording, because everyone knows that MaxTal always gets his shot off and damn, if it isn't quality. Little wonder that Army was confused. But you can keep giving him penalty shots anyway.

A miss on the shot, but a win on the commentary. Errey: "Johan Hedberg, he came out antlers and all against Max Talbot." Poetry.

Way To Not Live Up To Your Name
Evander Kane is named after Evander Holyfield. Gets dropped by Engellend who is swinging from the ice. Evander's face fights more than his fists. End of the second.

Happiest Man of the Night



Cooke runs over Kovalchuk right off the bench. Ilya forgets who he is and who just mauled him and actually tries to fight. Matty gives him a little how do you do and sends him to the dressing room. Laughs proudly for the whole 5 minutes in the box. Adorable. Kovalchuk gets 4 minutes in addition to his 5 and 10 minute misconduct.

PP for days but Malks gets slashed, his stick breaks, there's no call, and the fuckers score shorthanded.

That's a goal in ATL.

3-1

Thrashers pull their goalie with 2 and a half minutes left. Goodbye antlers. 18 seconds left and suddenly Russians and almost Russians are everywhere behind MAF and they get one in.

3-2

17 Seconds You Could Have Held Your Breath, But Decided Not To Because It Is The Thrashers

…kinda self explanatory. Wasn’t worried for a minute. Or part of a minute. Whatevs.

Alternative Three Stars

3. Atlanta Coach John Anderson's Black Ops Mustache - Behold, an artistic facial hair arrangement so stealthy that it blends in while kicking ass and taking names. A little red, a little grey. Amazing.

He needs a nap.

2. Gonch - Second day back and he's on the ice for half the game. Shots everywhere. Thanks, man. Good to have you back.

1. Geno - For humoring Danny after his embarassing run-in with the man of the hour, Skoula. Thanks for only smirking at Potash and waiting until he's out of earshot to collapse on the floor with laughter.



Panthers Monday.
Go Pens.

26 comments:

Megs said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Megs said...

Well done, Intern Ann! Thank you for posting a picture of Matt Cooke's wicked laugh. (I bet money somebody will make that into a blingee real soon lol)

I was curious, What did you think of Steigerwald and Erry's drawling abilities? I believe that happened towards the very end of the game, actually. I'm trying to remember how it was from the team that they were "drawing" on lol. My mom was watching with me and said "what on earth are they doing?" I was laughing and said "Looks like they've smoked way too much tonight." I wish I could find a picture of it!

In all seriousness though, they were just hilarious and spot on tonight.

As for Potash, I missed the interview during the first intermission. I thought the interview with Geno was amusing. He sounded really out of breath in my opinion. I really didn't think he was trying to contain his laughter, but maybe he was. All I know is that the end of the interview was quite hilarious. I think he said something like "get some rest" and Geno responded with "Maybe in 15 minutes" or something like that.

Before I start talking about the game, something must be said about Potash talking about Colby's wedding. I read somewhere that Crosby was there. I'm searching for the exact source. In the mean time, even on wikipedia it says this: "Armstrong married girlfriend of four years, Melissa Lavelle, on June 20, 2009 at The Catholic Shrine of the Immaculate Conception in Atlanta. It has been reported that Sidney Crosby, Ryan Malone, Mark Eaton, and Scottie Upshall were in attendance." Looks like somebody didn't do their homework, perhaps? I'm going to research this more because I'm all about journalistic accuracy.

So tonight's game...It must be said that it was an exciting one. Even though they didn't get a shutout like I was hoping, the guys held it down. Skoula is the man, especially for the power play goal! Also, MAF is a super hero. That one weird dive he made just proves he's supernatural.

One thing about tonight's game that was a bit weird and amusing was all the broken sticks. Was it like break your stick on the ice day or what?

Since I think I'm the only one posting at the moment, I gotta say that during the post game, I heard that TK might be playing on Monday's game!!! Can we all just scream a collective "Hello, Mr. President!"

TP said...

@Megs: Errey was drawing a Polamalu wig on Eaton.

Oh, and the Cooke Blingee is on its way. I can't resist a Blingee bet/request.

TP said...

@Megs: You won the bet.

Caitlin said...

@TP LOL Cookie blingee

I also enjoyed watching him laugh in the box.

meecrofilm said...

Sweet game.

No wonder Atlanta's goalie's don't put up good numbers--Moose was a beast tonight and he still let up 3.

Rebelheart87 said...

Lovely recap!

Ashferddd said...

All I have to say is thanks for the screenshot of Cookie Monster laughing his ass off. That moment made my night.

And damn do I miss Colby. Ahhhh.

Candy Man Fan said...

@TP that blingee is amazing. that was definitely one of the top 5 moments of last night's game.

I'm so excited TK's back soon. he needs to remind the world what it looks like to be the fastest man alive

rockhopper said...

Solid recap. Haven't seen the game yet (had to DVR it while attending the Preds-BJs), but now I know it's gonna be a good time--clearly some epic moments!

CrackerLilo said...

Awesome recap as usual, and the pictures are even better than usual! I loved Cooke laughing his ass off in the penalty box. Earlier last night, we'd watched the NASCAR Nationwide Series, where Denny Hamlin deliberately spun out Brad Kesolowski for payback (Brad's a Red Wings fan, you don't have to worry about him) and then said he felt "great" about it. I guess it was just that kind of night!

Evander Kane definitely deserved that award.

Did y'all catch that latest bit of Errey Math? There were 2 gay guys and 2 bi guys at our house last night. All the rest of us could do was surrender to it: "Go ahead, I know you gotta say somethin'."

It is so wonderful to be getting our team back!!!!!!!

25superstar said...

money screenshot of Mattie Cooke in the box. wooooooooo

MadMax84 said...

@CrackerLilo: 1 stick + 1 butt= GOAL!

God, whatta moment. The boys were just having way too much fun. Even Errey was tickled by Colby's "Reeeeeallly." As was I.

Can I just say, as a upstate New Yorker who has had her fair share of Afinajokov being shoved down her throat -- biggest diver in the League. And watching the game reminded me of the nights when no other hockey was on and I'd catch some Sabres -- all he does is skate full-speed to the net. The amount of times he'd actually do something once he'd get there are few. No wonder Lindy Ruff said enough.

Having Orpik, Max and Gonch back on the ice is Christmas come early. TK and others, I await your return.

CrackerLilo said...

A couple other things I forgot because the cats were getting into stuff:

TP, that is an awesome Blingee of a totally Blingee-worthy subject!

And I was going to take a break from this, but I posted a cocktail for Skoula at Pensburgh in honor of his two goals and will share it here, too.

The Skoula Bus

2 oz bourbon
4 oz ginger ale, regular or diet
4 oz orange juice

Pour bourbon into a collins glass almost filled with ice. Build the drink--first orange juice, then ginger ale. Stir and enjoy.

MarieMacCee said...

"Note to NHL brass: MaxTal would like you to use different wording, because everyone knows that MaxTal always gets his shot off and damn, if it isn't quality."

I fucking love you guys

p.s.-I go to school in the ATL and on Friday night at happy hour a big chunk of the team showed up. (I wasn't wearing my sexy shoes, so I didn't go up to say hi) They made my night anyways when instead of walking out the gate of the bar like normal people they hopped over the railing like they were leaving the bench, prompting one of my co-workers to ask why the "bearded giant men that looked like mafia rejects" would go to such lengths to avoid her when she'd been making eyes at one of them for a solid half an hour. I bought her a shot, patted her on the back, and explained that hockey players are too manly to shave or use traditional exits.

JSt11 said...

I dream of a time when colleges offer Blingees as a major. A whole class dedicated to TP's style will be a requirement to get a degree.

Megs said...

@TP - Brilliant blingee for Cookie Monster! Also, thank you for the update as to what Errey was drawing on Eaton haha.

@Lilo - great cocktail idea. And I'm so kicking myself for forgetting to mention in my original comment about Errey and Steigy's math formula. I gotta admit that 1 stick + 1 butt = 1 goal is a genuis observation.

@MarieMacCee - Great story and yeah I'm a wee bit jealous. It must've been badass to see them exit the way they did. So I was wondering, who all from the team were at the bar? Also, what kind of place was it (ie - a pub, a straight up bar or a college type place)?

This is going to sound silly, but I've decided that Max Talbot should be my drinking buddy. If I was there, sexy shoes or not, I would've walked up and be like "Max, would you join me for a drink?" Granted, I'm assuming he was there. Honestly even if he wasn't there, I would have walked over and say hello to whoever it was from the team, because I'm a cool dork like that.

I am pretty sure I would be cool and somewhat confident in a situation like that, because I hardly ever get star struck. I think it's because of my previous life as a music journalist.

Allison's Mouth Full of Tang said...

"So, I flip the game on and the first words I hear are "Look at all the Russians in this game!" Instantly pumped."

Wait... did I write this recap? wow.

colby armstrong, how i fucking miss you.

matt cooke will be in my nightmares tonight, guerin-teed. what a face. in this state, that face is not welcomed. see, im really drunk right now.. but i have discovered spell check so you cant even tell except i told you!

Annie S said...

@Allison - well done! I actually couldn't tell until you told us. :P I kinda miss your un-spellchecked drunkbloggings, though.

Megs said...

@Allison - I was so tempted to use spellcheck while I left drunk comments about Thursday's game, but I decided in my haze not to so they would seem authentic. (Make sure to check them out, yes I'm hoping to gain your approval!)

So, why on earth would you have nightmares about Cookie Monster?

In case if you do, here this should help: http://i17.photobucket.com/albums/b53/pseudovegetarianism/site/sidneycrosbywithstanleycupsnoozing.jpg

no clue who took this photo of cappy sleeping with the cup, but it's pretty amazing, right?

If that doesn't work...how about this? http://images2.fanpop.com/images/photos/4400000/Kris-Letang-pittsburgh-penguins-4488315-2272-1704.jpg

Perhaps you'll have sweet dreams about Letang's hair growing back!

MarieMacCee said...

@Megs
Tavern is an after-work bar/restaurant in a nice part of Atlanta that caters to the ibanker and PR crowd. Its not particularly college-y but still kind of southern fratty (men in pastels and women in pearls). They make up for the yuppie alcoholic factor by making 12-tier towers out of glasses and pouring vodka down them, and also giving free shots to ALL the ladies every half an hour. There is a bartender that throws out napkins about every 4 minutes like confetti and they have a hilarious dj who looks like a blonde Frank Zappa (http://tiny.cc/1J4n4 ) and plays lounge classics while bobbing around energetically.

Letang (I think), Mark Eaton, Max Talbot, Engelland, and JStaal were all in attendance as were some beastly dudes I didn't recognize. El Sid made a two second appearance and I think I saw Dupes as well. I didn't see MAF but I assume he was there if MaxTal was.

I had a horrendous hangover and was not feeling hot so, yes, I didn't go say hi which is very sad. I'm not a shy person was def a bit starstruck and ridiculously nauseous. Also, we should not ignore the fact that I am never cool and was wearing a tiara with a rubber penis on it for my friend's neverending bachelorette party. Normally I would consider that a conversation piece but I was so dehydrated my hands were shaking and I figured I should just admire from afar. MaxTal was not wearing a blinding shirt, which made it exceptionally difficult to identify him at first but it was awesome to see them out and about. I had lower bowl seats to the game which was kick-ass and thoroughly enjoyed my up-front seats to some much needed pens domination. John Anderson's mustache also received much attention in person and even warranted a drunken catcall from a member of my group.

MarieMacCee said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Megs said...

@MarieMacCee - Wow. Your story just got even more amazing. Tavern sounds like a pretty rad place. (If I'm ever in Atlanta visiting family, I'll make sure to check it out.)

I've never been hungover before but having witnessed friends who have had them, I totally understand why you didn't walk over to ever say hi. If I was like that, I wouldn't do it either.

Too bad you were sick though, because that tiara sounds pretty badass, and I'm sure the guys would've gotten a huge kick out of it! (Why am I getting visions of Max Talbot or Jordan Staal asking to try it on? lol)

As for who all showed up from the team, that is just amazing. I gotta be honest though, I can't ever imagine Sid being in a bar...well okay maybe drinking a beer but nothing hard. Actually hearing that he's been having a cold, he probably stopped in for a shot of whiskey thinking it might help him get rid of the cold faster. Maybe that's why he was able to play Saturday!

Speaking of Saturday's game, that's so awesome you had lower bowl seats.

debrisslide said...

@Megs - Sid goes out, stays stone-cold sober, advocates getting laid, but doesn't fuck bitches.

Megs said...

@debrisslide - Oh really? lol. Sounds like Sid should actually be my "drinking" buddy. We'll be the ones at the bar having Shirley Temples, talking to the bartender and laughing at awful jokes. Not to mention, we'd be the ones loading the juke box with at least a twenty, because other people's tastes in music can suck.

I enjoy hanging out at the bar with friends, but I'm not a drinker at all. I rarely drink and when I do, usually I just have one bottle of woodchuck cider. I'll admit though that if I ever have a drink with Max Talbot, Anthony Bourdain or Leonard Cohen, I might reconsider my usual for a Bombay gin and tonic.

Last Thursday, the same night that I posted that drunk comment about the Sens game, I had people at my neighborhood pub freaking out. My bar friends couldn't believe I was doing shots, let alone a shot of whiskey! Even my parents thought I was joking about that when I got home. So yeah unless the Pens lose some extremely important game, Puck Huffers can rest assure that they won't get another drunk comment from me!

As for the second part of what you said, I can relate. Hooking up sounds cool and awesome, but usually never happens. It's best that way, because it keeps trouble down real low. (Seriously who doesn't advocate getting laid?)

susieq said...

i was at this game and it was quite awesome. also, while me and my friend were headed towards the line to have our tickets scanned, i happened to look over to the left and spot a well dressed man. the first thought that went through my head was, that looks like Dan Potash. then i realized it was Dan Potash. So of course I had to go to talk to him. i think he may have thought i was a bit insane, but it was still pretty awesome.

 
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