The Price of Love

Well...this is a particularly shitty game to do my first official post on, but that's just life. Without much time to prepare for my recapping duties, I had high hopes of Letang scoring his first goal of the season, so I could just come on here and post a beautiful array of unicorn pictures and say "THAT'S ALL YOU NEED TO KNOW BITCHES!"... but alas, there is reality to tell you about....

Pregame:

I should have known right off the bat from being stuck with Jersey's broadcast that this was not going to be a good game. Pregame, Rupp is giving the obligatory interview about facing his former team for the first time. Blah blah blah. Doc and Chico are calling the game, and they are wearing almost matching horrid suits that would make Colonel Mustard terribly jealous.

First Period:

Pens are entering this thing 9-1. They're feeling pretty good about themselves. Staal is everywhere. Pens miss an open net. It's alright, they have the whole game ahead of them. In fact, why not take a break for some fun and games?

(Click here for a bigger picture , Blogger is being all anti leap frog and making this pic tiny.)

(Thanks to usbzoso from PensHead.com for making this photoshop for me so I didn't sit here all night making it on paint.)

Suddenly, I hear Doc and Chico talking about a sombrero hat trick. Apparently that should be the name of what Sidney accomplished last night against the Panthers. A power play goal, a shorthanded goal, and shootout goal are from this point forward to be referred to as a sombrero hat trick.

There is some hockey going on and all, but it's mainly just a lot of bodies smashing into each other. Hit count for this period stands at around 33.

Just when I find myself wishing for the good old antics of Errey and Steigy, Doc and Chico come up big. There must have been a memo sent around on how to make your color commentary more sexual. There's a momentary break in the action, and we viewers get to examine the shaft of Sid's stick. Glad to hear about the straight blade of his stick... for the one thousandth time.

Somewhere in this period, Frasher scored his first NHL goal, but I'm sure you don't want to relive MAF's gaffe. And, even if you did, no photographs exist at this time, so too bad.

Second Period:

Umm, let's be honest here, this game wasn't really that great from the standpoint of a Penguins fan. Instead of putting serious effort into this recap, I am just going to share with you my actual notes from this period:

• Marty "passed" it to Rupp. Must have forgotten he was traded.
• Parise trips Brooks-lucky its only 2 minutes and that Brooks already ate dinner.
• Sid does dirty work in the corner (hardcore)
• 3 straight kills for the Devils- gag
• Rupp boarding - hurts old teammate, what a story line.
• Devs' pp goal -puke

Intermission:

Bunch of dudes at a table. Thought I saw Bon Jovi. It's just Ron Dugay.

Third Period:

Ok, honestly, I have more important things to be doing in life than reliving this loss. I mean, I am sober right now. That's unacceptable, I have to go get my drink on. I barely took notes this period, all I remember is Alex Goligoski breaking Marty Brodeur's shutout bid. Thank goodness. I didn't want Uncle Daddy tying Terry Sawchuk's shutout record against the Pens. Looking at the bright side here folks. Sometimes, it's all one can do.

Pens lose 4 -1

Not making the playoffs.

Trade Kunitz.

Send down Fleury.

Relocate the team.

Jokes.

9 - 2

Best team in the NHL.

GO PENS!