Wednesday, October 28, 2009

docking of the USS Gill in the Steel City



That's for you, Kim.

Hello All. Intern, here. My pre-game reading binge was amazing. There were far too many choice quotes and oddities, so I'll just dive in.

Tonight is the 125th straight sell-out for the Pens. Bettman is weeping tears of happiness...

The Canadiens have won four in a row, which is a big deal for them. Talk to us when you hit seven, kids. They're trying for five, obvs, which would be their first time in a whole year. Numbers are a bitch.

Mr. President is busy nursing an overworked knee/shoulder/dick and is cruising around in Air Force One sipping champagne tonight. He's day-to-day.

Fun With H1N1 and Pascal:

What Bylsma Said: "We always do that so there isn’t fear of an epidemic running through the team. He could be contagious so we kept him away from the rink."

What Dupuis Said: "You have the Montreal flu".

Is there a vaccine for that? Carey needs it.

Hal picked up his ring today from Shero. I guess you can't fed-ex that shit. We salute you, sir, even when you say you're "not nostalgic".

In the pre-show, Potash talks to Bylsma. I use the word "talk" generously, because it mainly consisted of choking on monosyllabic words. Diamond Dan has a fresh, natty new haircut, so he let it roll and answered repetitive questions like the professional that he is. Apparently they're going to neutralize, maneuver, and score. Should be fun to watch.

Blue Steel

Moment Sid Almost Gets Controversial:

El Cap totally throws Cooke under the bus in his interview and says that although he would not have assaulted Booth like Mike Richards, Matty might have. He then points out that Gonchar would not have made that hit, either. Them's fightin words.

Puck drops. The announcers are having far too much fun with Halak. MAF is described as a Snow Angel while "Halak is on his back!" echoes in the rafters.

First Moment of WOOO!!!



Kunitz scoops up a givewaway when Gionta fails to clear. Sir passes to Sid who takes the one-timer and starts the show. Pens have outshot 5 to 1 in the first 8 minutes.

1-0

If my feed had Careycam, you would see him giggling on the bench, still trying to figure out how to spell shit. Something like this:



He doesn't know what he's in for.

Matty Cook crosschecks someone irrelevant in the back, which he may or may not have done simply to illustrate Sid's point.

There was probably hockey playing here, but the announcers were too busy making fun of Fleury's Kermit the Frog costume that involved leggings and the period ends. I find myself strangely turned on. Don't judge.

In the second, Sir and Gogo fire shots at Halak on the PP that Gill gave them. Teamwork! I knew Hal still loved us.

Second Moment of WOOO!!!



Goligoski continues to assault Halak and nails one off the post. Kunitz picks it up, sends it to Cappy, who's hanging out at the net and it's done. This prompts a discussion of his stick, the curve, lack of curve, and whether or not he would have gotten that goal without his new fancypants one-piece. I barfed with joy.

2-0

Cooke gets high sticked to the face straight off the faceoff by D'Agostini. The Habs coach is phenomenally unimpressed by this little maneuver.

More pentalties, and on a delay Rupp does amazing things and pokes in a shot by Eaton! There are no photos of this event because it does not involve Sid.

3-0

Like 2 minutes later....

Third Moment of WOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!



Crosby is all by his lonesome in front of the net, he goes low, and slips it under Halak. Hats flood the ice and the announcers get absolutely batshit crazy with us and debate Crosby's age. They decided he is 21. They also inform us that his birthday is August 8th. For fuckin real? Seriously, gentlemen. Please consult Google, his jersey, or your stat sheet. They are so jealous.



He gave his stick to a kid on the way out.

4-0

It's the third, Halak is tired. Announcers have worn out his name. It's time for Jesus Price. Things happen here, but everybody seems le tired from celebrating the hat trick. Apparently people are going home to watch the World Series.



Staal takes one to the face from Spacek, which creates the perfect opportunity to talk about Thunder Bay and BROTHERS. A few minutes later Jordan somehow rips Carey's mask off. Btw: Uncle Jordie might be going as a yellow M&M for Halloween. Priceless.

The Habs have a 5 on 3 for like a minute and decide to suddenly do things with that opportunity.



Puck goes from Gomez to Gionta's skate to Plekanec who goes top shelf. Whatever.

4-1

Talk of Price's confidence fills the airwaves. He has low self-esteem and needs to not let one in so that he will feel good about himself. Gogo with a wrister, bitch.

5-1

Fourth Moment of WOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!



Kunitz on a breakaway and he goes five-hole!!! Baby had one tally in 40 games. That stat ended today. Man is back.

6-1, Suckas.

ALT THREE STARS:



3. Harold Priestley Gill III: He gave us penalties and we appreciate that.

2. Letang: 24 minutes.

1. Goal Posts: they blocked more shots than McKee tonight. Thanks, guys.

Jackets on Friday.
Go Pens.

22 comments:

twinklebrite said...

I think Letang also wins for annihilating the glass with a shot. AND for having a sassy new hair cut.

Need Ice In Phoenix said...

I'm still howling over Blue Steel. I don't even remember coach's name anymore. He's Blue Steel forever!

The boys were STUDS tonight . . . every one of them!

Keep Em Up Boys!!!

Pensational said...

Hey Ms. Intern - what network were you watching the game on? Obvs not FSN... sounds like it was funny.

Intern Ann said...

@Pensational I was listening to the English Habs radio broadcast to fill in the gaps with my super slow feed from FSN. They were amazing. There was a lot of discussion about MAF's Catwoman costume from last year and how he likes to wear tights. Also, apparently Kris insists that he does not drink alcohol and both the announcers and Fleury thought that was funny.

Annie S said...

OMG, not only was the game incredible, but Steigy and Errey were even bigger crackheads than usual. This game was full of so much win in so many different ways... I love this team in ridiculous amounts.

wispensfan said...

Is anybody else surprised that Carey Price's legs were wide open when Kuni scored his goal?

Annie S said...

@wispensfan - I was going to say Price's legs were wider than a five-dollar whore's, but I thought I'd be nice and keep my mouth shut. ;)

wispensfan said...

@ Annie S- Normally I would be the last person you would find bagging on a goalie. But there are a few guys like Price and Osgood who you can't help but make fun of.
And I am excited to say that I got center ice for the first time so I now get to experience the glory that is the Steigy and Errey smokefest first hand instead of just reading about it.

CrackerLilo said...

@ wispensfan: Those guys justify the price of Center Ice for Penguins fans outside Pittsburgh right there.

That game was just so damned awesome for so many reasons, but for me, the best is...well, Beloved and I like to deep-kiss to celebrate a goal by a member of one of our teams. Thanks, guys, 'preciate it!

I won't be able to watch the games on Friday or Saturday, so this is an awesome one to see as my last game for a little while, too! It'll just make me appreciate your recaps and Pensburgh's all the more.

Finally, did some barber in the area offer a Penguins employee discount while the guys were home all this week or something?

Ashferddd said...

I wish I was hungover today. As Annie said, that's the perfect drunkblog game. I will find it and drink to it, because Bob and Steigy had some extra acid last night. And I'm pretty sure KGB had Billy's Cobra Whiskey. Stunning. Beautiful. You bitches ready for Columbus? I am!

Juls said...

I would like to nominate Most Awkward Moment on FSN Pittsburgh last night, when Steigy and Errey were discussing the first goalie to ever wear a mask, and Bob declared "He looks like he's from Silence of the Lambs!" and proceeded to make the lip slithering noise for definitely longer than I ever needed to hear on a televised broadcast of a Penguins game.

Julia said...

any one see the 3 ass = 1 goal my sixteen year old sister said can they do that on tv? who knows...

@twinklebrite....yeah it is sassy!!

great post intern!!

ANovak017 said...

ok so i'm sending you bitches an email because i got it from my journalism school. it's a contest to win press passes to vancouver..i dont know what it entails, but you guys were the first ones to pop into my head.
it's not junk i promise.

ANovak017 said...

ok so i'm sending you bitches an email because i got it from my journalism school. it's a contest to win press passes to vancouver..i dont know what it entails, but you guys were the first ones to pop into my head.
it's not junk i promise.

Jfisch said...

I just had to share that I was at the game and during one of the intermissions they showed the Godard finger painting. I think it took up most of the intermission too.

jefe penguino said...

wheres that gill blingee expo. i worked hard on that. he owes me his ring. go pens.

Pensational said...

Speaking of haircuts, Cappy is also looking pretty fly.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XYFjKESvnSU

Megs said...

Last night's game was badass. I went to bed happy and a little buzzed. Tanqueray gin and tonics for everyone!

Great post Intern Ann! I wish I could've heard the remarks about Letang's non-drinking.

@Annie S - I thought the exact same thing when the announcers said that Kuni got the goalie to spread his legs.

@ANovak017 - Just curious, where are you going to J-school? I went to University of Maryland's J-school.

Megs said...

One more thing, I'm so bummed about Geno. Sure 3 weeks isn't much. I just wonder how this will effect the line-ups. Also, I gotta a question, since both Gonchar and Malkin are out, who's gonna cover for them in terms of being alternate captains?

Oh and I guess puck huffers should give Chris Conner a warm welcome?

Annie S said...

Give Billy the A while Malks is out, IMHO.

CrackerLilo said...

@ Annie S: Definitely. Guerin's already an unofficial leader.

Gigi said...

Did anyone see that goofy old Halloween picture they showed? That had to be Superstar! By the way, I appreciate how there were plenty of shots of him looking all pimped out and plaid.

 
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Puck Huffers by Kimberly Davidson and Zoƫ Hayden is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License.