Friday, September 18, 2009

the one thing the cup can't change.

Does anyone ever go into a Leafs game confident that the night will end in celebration? And before you smarmy outside-fan assholes jump in smirk first, this question is for Pens fans only. We don't recall inviting you to the group huddle. You can wait over there.
For whatever reason, Pens/Leafs games are always bloody, messy, and generally have wildly unpredictable results. Would you have been surprised to blow the lid off of this game 6-0? No. Would you have been surprised if they had done that to us? Hurt, yes. But surprised? We're talking about a team that has rubbed our faces in the dirt when they least had any place to. The team that has stopped glorious winning streaks by bending us over the penalty box and showing no mercy as they raped away the last of our dignity for a single night. When the Leafs are on their game, they have a way of unlacing the Penguins. When they aren't? They can be a complete joke. Nothing shocks us anymore.

We're still not in award-night mode. This is our pre-season as well. We're just kind of dicking around and watching games and living our lives for the last possible days before blogging becomes our number one priority, above grades, relationships, family, and a number of other vaguely important things.

Oh, hey, there was a game tonight.
Press was bitchin'. Did we get some new interns this season?

Leafs show up big in the first period with penalties.
Finger trips Biz.
It would be enraging if they hadn't made the best faces ever.
Is it just us, or does Biz kind of look like a 5-year-old boy having the time of his life?

Reimer makes a Vesa-face, but we couldn't care less because he's not bedazzled. Rather than feeling sorry we kind of feel like...well, how Mattie Cooke feels.
Damn straight I made him cry. What's that? Yeah, I know it's only preseason...I didn't make him bleed, did I?

You're a wizard, Guenin!

One of the best parts of the game was the Leafs announcers going bat shit crazy over Marc-Andre. Any time he did something right, it was NOW THAT'S SOMETHING YOU DON'T SEE ANYMORE IN NET or THAT IS A CHAMPION GOALTENDER RIGHT THERE. They act like this is something they've known all along. We'll play your game this time, Leafs announcers...but step out of line again and we'll...
Well, we'll say something mean and pithy about it. That's really all we have the power to do.
Oh, and burn down your houses.
Anyway, when MAF saved the world, there was almost a moment of stunned silence from the media booth. Yeah, we know he fly. You're the ones a little late to the show.
"...get Man Purse up here. We want to have a little chitchat with him about this."

The new press interns came all over themselves when they got a chance to snap this shot in the second period:
It's really artful.
Good job, interns.
Can we get interns?
Let us get an application here...
Here we go.
E-mail us your completed application for employment consideration.

While we didn't win this game, we still did get some awesome moments.
Need we remind you?
He will end you and everything you love.

We're so not concerned about this loss. It's preseason. It's the Leafs. Brooks Orpik scored, Craig Adams was a fuckin' hero, Billy G let his pimp hand get a little wild, and MAF was still laughing like a lunatic behind his mask every time he knew he made an awesome save.

We're going to get back to you guys soon on this Blingee contest.
Give us a minute to regroup over here.
Zoe's in the Netherlands.
Kim has work to go to.
We're sorting things out.

PENS LOSE
3-4
Woh-woh-wohhhhh.

Never losing again.
Go Pens.

13 comments:

Ashferddd said...

When do you bitches want the application by?

jovi said...

does this internship require a piss-test?

Annie S said...

AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH words cant desribe how BATSHIT CARAZY I wwent when Brooksie scored. I wen t and bought his player tee today. it was a sign. I wish I could hav wated afterwards long enough for him to come out but we had to go. When Brooksie socres it's the best everrr. I fucking love that man more tan is healthy. it doesn't even matter we lost cause its preseason and my boy scored. WOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

25superstar said...

mattie cooke: yeah, bishes, i got this

geno: i. break. your. face.

Ashferddd said...

@ Annie S - we seriously need to hang out, now that you're in the 'burgh. For realz

Julia said...

pobley won't be hired...damn this economy sucks but i will apply...:)

Jess said...

Those Leafs commentators were a worthy sub for Bob and Steiggy, though I do miss those crazy bastards.
Brooks's goal made me cry happy tears a little.

bowlingpotatoes said...

Haha, if only applications for jobs were that entertaining to fill out.

laurrrabeth said...

one of my best friends ate at bravo tonight and saw president tyler kennedy. he was definitely pimping bitches. actually he was eating with his parents. jealous cityyyy

JSt11 said...

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO Netherlands. Everything's legal there. Have fun and be safe.

Megs said...

I totally filled out my application and sent it last night. and I agree with bowlingpotatoes that if only other applications were this fun to fill out.

as for the loss, I'd rather lose in the pre-season than any other time. I will admit, however, that it would be awesome if we beat the Red wings again even though it's a pre-season game.

I know that we can't celebrate the cup anymore, but I feel like winning this pre-season game against Detroit will make my friends who are red wings fans shut the fuck up about how the Pens didn't deserve the cup. (yeah they're in such denial, which is unfortunate!)

Archimedies said...

VIKTOR STALBERG APPRECIATES YOU POSTING A PICTURE OF HIM.

Ashferddd said...

JC is playing his heart out tonight. Ah I love him, although he will probably be in WBS another year. :\

 
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