Wednesday, September 30, 2009

let's get it on

Today is a beautiful day, full of love and gorgeousness.
There are some news items in the mix.

First, and on the lowest possible note, we have one fallen soldier in Paul Bissonnette.
He is going to play with the Phoenix Coyotes, and seeing as he used to beat the shit out of Philly, perhaps this whole Carcillo-Philly-Phoenix thing has some kind of copacetic quality to it.
The Phoenix Coyotes = probably won't even have a roof over their heads to make it through the winter.
Biz will be the last man standing.
Godspeed, private.

Next, Pens signed Martin Skoula. Game, set, Shero. Okay. We'll allow it.

On to the gorgeous things on Curry's green earth:

There's no easy way to say this, but the boys got today what will forever be symbols of their achievement.
Bob Errey wears his to this day, much to the delight of women and children throughout the Pittsburgh area who have heard of his legend. Max Talbot, for example, will someday hold a similar position, wear his *cough* Cup ring, and look fly as shit for the rest of his earthly life.

CUP
RINGS

They are beautiful.


They have the names of the players as well as striking reminders of all of their victories in a slick design on the side.


Here is Billy G about to go put a hit out for everyone who has ever offended his honor.
Like really.
These things are powerful.

Last, but certainly not least, we have the eternal reminder, just in time for the true beginning of the new season.
Rings are cool and all, but every sport gets a fucking ring.
Super Bowl rings are like a dime a dozen. Who cares, really, about the rings? They're nice and all, but whatevs.
Listen. This is what makes what we do special. We have an enormous silver thing on which the names of everyone involved in our championship are immortalized.
This enormous silver thing is also toted around the world such that the glory of hockey achievement cheers up people in desperate or less-than-cool situations.
The names of the 2008-09 Pittsburgh Penguins will travel with them now.
And also look pimp as shit in the Hall of Fame.
Forever.

Feel free to shed your last victory tears, because Friday: it's on.
No more celebrating. We've been saying it for awhile, but this time it's real.
The glory has become tangible. It's time to move on.

Final notes:
Our fave picnic buddy CamCam signed a 6-year deal with the Canes. Guess he's fine venturing to the mountains in the summers only.

BILL GUERIN IS GOING TO POSE FUCKING NAKED FOR ESPN. We don't understand either. But look forward to it. And want to know if this means he'll agree to the threesome.

It is a beautiful world.

Go Pens.

20 comments:

CrackerLilo said...

Longtime lurker, first time commenter here. I was enjoying this post, smiling 'cause it means Penguins hockey's back, and then I got to the end part.

Bill...Guerin...naked!!!!! The PSAMP writer doesn't understand; we can overlook the imperfections on his face, because we know what's underneath is hot and his attitude is hotter yet!

Here I was at PensBurgh expressing my hope that he could be the new spokesbody for Wranglers on Monday, too. I'll take this instead! Thankyouthankyouthankyou...

JSt11 said...

FUCKING PIMP <--- my initial reaction to the first ring.

This man naked? SQUEEEE!!!!!!!

Gigi said...

I looked at the list of everyone who's going to be in "The Body Issue" and Zdeno Chara is going to be in there too. Good lord. As soon as that comes out, someone needs to Blingee the shit out of them. Those rings are absolutely exquisite by the way.

Side note: The other day I saw a dude at the bus stop down the street that looked EXACTLY like Satan. It was actually really creepy.

beth said...

billy g posing naked for espn? not quite sure about that one


Oh and eric staal's wife went and had a kid, more to drink shots over in my opinion

lets go pens

Ashferddd said...

BILL GUERIN NAKED OMFG

And. . .CUPCAKE FRIDAYYYYYYYY

Candy Man Fan said...

those rings are blingee-licious. I'm hoping it'll be like Captain Planet and the combined powers of all of their rings will produce a magical season

AmyB said...

I'm buying like 2308798 copies of that magazine and making a wallpaper. Holy shit. Naked Billy G blingees? My life is suddenly amazing.
I like the rings. I hadn't seen the sides until today but I like them a lot.

@Gigi : I'm not sure if I can bring myself to look at Zdeno Chara naked. But its like a morbid curiousity thing. I'll need a drink first.

Anyone going to the big screen on Friday?

Ashferddd said...

@AmyB - Annie S and I will be there (separately), and I will have cake and cupcakes!

laurrrabeth said...

so i'm sad about biznasty. thinking about him, godard, and adams ruining lives on the 4th line made me feel like i got punched in the ovary. but when it comes down to it, i trust ray. completely.

a nakie grampie grabass guerin blingee expo is possibly the greatest idea to ever come across puck huffers. BILLLYYYY G is the sex.

who's gonna be in the igloo on friday?? i'll be in D22. anyone sitting close to me?!! i'll be holding the "yes we did" sign in one hand and a miller lite in the other! first pens game that i'm 21! WOOOO

1wingangel said...

Bill Guerin naked. I'm incredibly excited about it for reasons I don't even understand. But I do know for a fact that my campus Barnes & Noble sells that mag and that I am going to buy at least several copies on that magical day.

Having said that, though, I'm wondering what the criteria was for choosing an NHL player to appear au naturale. I mean, did they know that MaxTal would sex it up too much to be "tastefully done?" Or maybe just too many people have already seen him "in various states of undress."

Personally, I would rather see tall and sculpted Hal Gill posing all artsy-like in the newd. Or perhaps Patrick Sharp, or the already dangerously promiscuous Carey Price. Who would you want to see nekkid in soft lighting with deliberately placed pucks and sticks?

@laurrrabeth -- I'm going to the game with some family. We will be in E32, row G or something. I kind of really can't wait.

Susan said...

Please,oh, please, alert us when The Body issue of ESPN mag comes out. Guerin is older, so I won't feel quite so dirty as I ogle him! Yummy!

DRAGON said...

Oh dear Barbara... A naked Bill Guerin... My ovaries can't take it!

Annie S said...

While I am intrigued and am anticipating the prospect of Billy G getting nekked for us, I have to admit there's a list of about 50 NHL players I'd rather see naked before him. Sorry. ;P

For everyone going to the big screen tomorrow, or anyone who has been to watch a game there before, I have a question: What is a good time to get there in order to have a decent amount of space and an okay view of the screen? This'll be my first time going and I'm not sure if 3pm is way too early or 5:30 is too late, or what.

Also, if you want to meet up and hang out, shoot me an email (it's in my profile) and we can exchange info. Or you could just look for the girl in the white Malkin jersey. That shouldn't be too hard, right? I'm thinking I'll be bringing junk food 'n such. I wish we could bring booze, or I'd bring my new bottle of Jack or Smirnoff and we could play the Staal Brothers Drinking Game. :D :D :D :D

Jenna said...

@Annie S: It's hard to guess what the screen will be like tomorrow, honestly. At the beginning of the playoffs last season, you could get there around 6 and still get a good spot, but by the SCF, I got there around 3:30 and got a space more than halfway back to the road. I think it's supposed to rain tomorrow though, so that's going to scare some people away I'm sure. It was raining for one of the games during the Caps series and there was basically no one there. But anyway, even if you're super early, you can set up your space and go walk around town for awhile or get something to eat. People will pretty much leave your stuff alone.

Annie S said...

@Jenna - awesome, thanks!!

Ashferddd said...

I'll be at the screen in the early afternoon. White Kunitz if you want some food.

Candy Man Fan said...

One of you crazy bitches who buy the naked billy g magazine should get him to sign it. How effing bad ass.

1wingangel said...

@Candy Man Fan -- exactly my thoughts. I have every intention of buying one and holding out the page for him to sign.

I'm sure he'll end up signing a lot of those.

Caitlin said...

hahaha YESSS captain planet

As far as Billy G naked goes.. i kinda want to see it and kinda don't. it's a weird i-can't-help-but-look kind of thing

i'll be watching the game at a bar here in socal. leaving in a couple min to drive down. won't be tweeting during the game tho i wish i could (old skool phone)

JSt11 said...

O HAI I IZ SMASHED LOLOLOLOLOL and so is AmyB. Billy G being sexy is just like saying to your friend o hai your dad is hawtt lololololol. It's for shits and giggles. Plus he's a Penguin so it's like extra points there.

 
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