Hey everyone, the bitches here. We know it's been a while since you've actually heard from us, but we promise that we'll be back on Sunday for the game. Stop bitching and listen to the Intern. We chose her for all of the right reasons and you should have faith in us and our selections. Note: Just because we haven't selected your application this time around doesn't mean we don't still have it. You may still be contacted in the future, as this is an internship, not a FOREVER AND EVER staff position. Along those same lines, all of you can still feel free to send in applications whenever you like. For now, let's give Intern Ann the stage:
That is definitely what I look like....
Five score hours ago, a great blogger, in whose shadow I write today, texted me the SOS of a game recap. This momentous decree came as a great beacon of hope to pretty much just me, who had been seared in the flames of withering hockey-lessness. It came as a joyous daybreak to end the long night of an uncertain hockey season.
In a sense I've come to this blog to cash a check. When the architects of the Canadian Hockey Media wrote the dastardly words that hockey would never make it in the desert, they were signing a promissory note to which I was to fall heir. This note was a promise that all men, yes, bitches as well as men, would be guaranteed the "unalienable Rights" of "Life, Liberty and the pursuit of a legit team." It is obvious today that Gretzky has defaulted on this promissory note, insofar as the citizens of Arizona are concerned. Instead of honoring this sacred obligation, Bettman has given the people a bad check; a check that has come back marked "insufficient fans."
But I refuse to believe that the bank of justice is bankrupt. I refuse to believe that there are insufficient fans in the great vaults of Hockey in this nation. And so, I have come to Puck Huffers to cash this check, a check that will give upon demand the riches of freedom and the security of having people to bitch about games with at least 82 times a season.
Hi. My name is Intern Ann and I'm a Penguins fan in a Coyotes state, which really isn’t a Coyotes state because those fuckers keep trying to jack our shit right off the ice. I'm pleased as punch to be blogging for you fine fellow members of Pens Nation. I'm pretty sure les Bitches chose me because I really, really like pancakes and I'm ok with that. Also, mothers frequently cover their children's ears when I walk by on the street. I'm ok with that, too. Oh, and they picked me because I'm a Penguins nuthugger and think they're gods. So I'm here to entertain, amuse, and hopefully sick you out sometimes. To celebrate my arrival, pour a little out for Brooks Orpik, cuz he got a little older today.
Note: Martin Luther King, Jr. did not endorse this post, but if he wasn’t dead, he sure as shit would have.
Saturday, September 26, 2009
Posted by Intern Ann at 11:56 PM