Monday, September 14, 2009

and so it begins...uhh...again.

Story time, children. Gather round.
It was nearly a year ago that Kim was in Philadelphia, frantically searching for a feed of the first Pens v. Lightning game of the 08/09 preseason.
Zoe, situated in Boston at the time, saw the away message "FML NEED TO FIND THE GAME. ANYONE?" and decided that despite having avoided her for about five years due to bitchiness during their last attempt at friendship, the Penguins came first.
She sent Kim the feed.
A week later, the ho-mance was impossibly strong.
A month later? A blog was born.
Preseason changes everything.


It was a different year, and in some ways, a different team. We'd equate seasons to snowflakes in that they are all unique, but that's a little too homo for us. We'll say they're more like children. You like 'em overall, they disappoint you a good deal form time to time, there's possibly one or two that you don't like but you can't talk about it, and in the end the problem child is really your favorite.
Look at last season. If the low hadn't been THAT low...well, the high would have still been fucking ridiculous, but we feel that it adds something.

Tomorrow is the official end of the "We won the Cup" argument. The summer of gloating has passed, and we trust you spent it well. If you didn't get drunk and loudly mock fans from at least two different teams, you abused your privilege as a Cup winner and deserve death, or to be forcibly turned into a Kings fan.
Tonight we say goodbye to kneeling in puddles of champagne on our friends' living room floor and smoking cigars on the South Side as the riots rolled past. While we are defending the Cup, it is no longer ours to brag about, it is only ours to protect.
The celebration has ended, the pursuit of glory has begun once again.

The G-20 summit is kicking our season in the balls to start things out.
The Penguins are running on three practices. No one seems to give a fuck though, seeing as it is only preseason. But then again, how quickly does "It's only preseason" turn into "It's only October", "It's only November", "Hey...guys...it's December" and "Oh fuck, it's January"?
We're kind of kidding.
It'll be great to see the rooks playing, especially because it means an on-ice appearance for Zac Efron.
Ladies, get excited.
Clearly the sex is happening.

So here we go. No more bitching. No more complaining about the lack of hockey. In a few months you're going to be thanking Curry for long weekends with no games. We forget how hard being a hockey fan is in these trying times of the off-season. Sometimes, if you recall last season's blanket forts, this shit gets to you. But we love it, of course.

How about we do it? Let's kick some Blue Jacket ass just to start this shit off on a good foot. We have no expectations for this season.
Minus never losing again.

Take it, Billy G:

“The games are the ones that really get you in shape and get you prepared for the season. We’ve had three days of practice and guys have been skating for weeks. Let’s just play.”

Word.
Go Pens.

12 comments:

AmyB said...

Ho-mance.

Speechless.

Annie S said...

FUCK.

YES.

Ashferddd said...

I'm way too excited. You'll see me there tonight, in my white Kunitz jersey.

And fuckfuckfuck ohmyCurry so beautiful.

crmzak said...

Oh man, this shit's bout to get good.

SinBinRegular said...

Ho-mance is now my favorite word. Glad to know I did my duties, despite being sober and in Washington...

Pants N at said...

Man, I hope there's a game feed somewhere out there on the internets 2nite.

Sweeet, sweeet hockey.

Gigi said...

Sweet Curry am I pumped up! I watched 300 over the weekend and it honestly reminded me of Cobra Scorpion Whiskey. They're showing the Pens/Canes series on the NHL Network so I will not lose my fucking mind. Keep it classy, homancers.

Rebelheart87 said...

ho-mance, priceless!

Tonight is going to be fun, like Billy G said!

Hockey! Yes!

underdogobsession said...

NIKITAAAA :)

laurrrabeth said...

billy g had allll this pearly whites today at training camp. unreal.

bowlingpotatoes said...

My boss at my summer job is a huge Detroit fan. She received a mocking every single day.

mer said...

Ho-mance.
Brillz.
Good to have hockey back. Now if only I had FS-Ohio and FS-Pitt feeds on the pub TVs in Vancouver... God, (CURRY???) are you listening? Hook a homegirl up, k?

 
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Puck Huffers by Kimberly Davidson and Zoƫ Hayden is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License.