Sunday, August 23, 2009

whilst you lounge around

Today we had a business meeting (coffee and mocking each other) to discuss the 2009/2010 season for PH.
Clearly, it was a productive day. We have some goodies chillin' on the back burner just for you.
The first preseason game is on September 15th, if you haven't started counting down the days yet.
It's the Blue Jackets. At Mellon Arena. Which is an event in and of itself for us, aside from the fact that it's the first NHL hockey for us in months. Funny how the League's shortest summer can seem so long.
Before then, we'll prepare an Epic Preview™ of the season ahead.
It's going to be another long, hard road to defend the Cup, and we'll be there every step of the way.
And honestly, we can't fucking wait.

Not to tease you or anything, 'cause today's a fucking bust.

Dany Heatley has been whining all weekend. What else is new?

But there is something else special about this season. Something that comes around only once in awhile. We almost forget about it sometimes. And that is. . .the Winter Olympics. We won't overload you with Olympic shit. Some people adore the Olympics, and other people could care less, but hey, hockey is involved. Not that Olympic hockey is particularly great or anything, because the ice is bigger and fewer people fuck shit up and overall it's just a very formal occasion. But playing for your country is something special. Teamwork is something special. Friends become enemies and vice versa. It can be a very interesting event.

Plus, as with most things that matter less to us than discovering pancake preferences among hockey players, the world tries to give us a mediagasm.

Sid doesn't give two shits about the Olympics, really. He has a hard enough time representing hockey as a whole and rubbing his dick on the Stanley Cup. Asking him about Team Canada will make him smile and nod and be Media Sid, but you know what's really on his mind the whole time. It won't embed, but if you have a chance to go over to NHL.com's frontpage, feel free to help us fill in the blanks.

Some definite possibilities:
Once is not enough, clearly.

I wonder where the Cup is right now.

How many Stanley Cups has Ovechkin won? What about Mike Richards? What about YOU, sir? How many have YOU won?

Hah. . .hahah. . .yeah. . .I won the Cup. It was a little over two months ago. Oh. . .memories. Hah. Hahahahaha.

At 21, most people have finished up their life's greatest binge drinking. I don't binge drink. I tend to sensually sip champagne out of a trophy. I'm pretty much always sober. It's how I stay badass.

I did it for the lulz. And the glory. I really don't care what you are saying right now.

But thanks for the interview. Really. It's been real. Like caressing-the-Stanley-Cup real. Well. . .not really. PSYCHE! Mmm. . .the taste of silver. . .

Leave your ideas in the comments.

They also got Fattie Nash to look all fluffy and cute. We think he actually cares about Canada at this point in his career. Plus, he actually looks like he does in person when he's wheeling around in his pimp truck as opposed to awkward and fuzzy.


So yeah. . .
Pens won the Cup.
Heatley's still a bitch.
Summer's getting closer to being over.

Life ought to be good. We will keep you posted.

Go Pens.

40 comments:

Annie S said...

I wish like hell there was a way to hear what Sid's really thinking when he's doing interviews. I love him to pieces but we never really get to see him cut loose. This commentary seems pretty spot-on, though. Every time someone tries to give him shit or tell him he's overrated, he can just say, "Kiss my ring, bitch."

I'm keeping an extremely close watch of the Pens Ticketmaster page for when preseason tickets go on sale. Since I'm now a financially-challenged grad student I have a feeling I'm going to have to exercise great self-control in how many games I go to now that I live 2.3 miles from the Mellon. So close, and yet so far.

debrisslide said...

Annie, I may try to go to the September 15 game since I'll actually be in town for it. I mean, I have to wait and see if it's even financially feasible (including price of gas to Pittsburgh) but I'd like to get a dose of hockey before I go to school. Maybe I'll see you there!

Annie S said...

Zoe, that would be AWESOME! Maybe I could get my new Blackhawks-fan roommate to come along...

Ashferddd said...

September 15? Oh my God, I'll be there! Who else is going? @AnnieS - do you go to Pitt as well?

And Bing/Doofy/Sid. . .man, that was epic. Best thing I've seen from him in a while.

Annie S said...

@Ashferddd - I do go to Pitt! Or I will when classes start next Monday. Once the season starts we'll need to find some bars to go to nearby that show the games. :D

Nulpher said...

Annie... if you want, wait before buying tickets... they may do the large amount of student rush tickets like they did for preseason last year.

Last year, they had about 1,000 tickets available for student rush (20$ when ID is shown) for the preseason games. Get there early though, lines will be long.

ANovak017 said...

Update was wonderful as always. Inside Sid's head seems pretty spot on.
Are you bitches going to the preseason game in Columbus or the season game there?
Please say yes.

Allison's Mouth Full of Tang said...

@anovak- i am actually probably going to the reg season game in colombus too!

Allison's Mouth Full of Tang said...

Columbus, even

Candy Man Fan said...

oh my God what a banner

mer said...

Minor correction, the ice for the Olympics is going to be NHL regulation this year since the IOC can't exactly force GM Place to somehow change the size of the ice for just a few weeks. Major reno job is NOT a go...

The IIHF changed their regulations, apparently now the size of the ice is territorial, so when we're in Europe it will be bigger, and when tourneys are in NA, it will be good old 85'x200'

As for Dany-boy... what can I say? It's a good thing he's out west. I'm too close to Ottawa right now; things could go wrong if we crossed paths...

Ashferddd said...

@ Annie S - I'm not 21 yet, but I'll still go with ya! And you MUST student rush with me some time!

Ashferddd said...

and I will most likely be at the game IN Columbus. . .hopefully

Hand of Godard said...

I will be at the Sept. 15th game hoping Jon Mirasty suits up for the Blue Jackets.

Annie S said...

@ Nulpher - Thanks for the heads-up! I'll definitely keep that in mind.

@ Ashferddd - I will most definitely try! Does anyone know when we find out which games are student rush? I'm guessing they don't do it as often as they used to when the team wasn't as good, but it would be nice to know some time beforehand.

laurrrabeth said...

edward cullen can hear sid's thoughts.

laurrrabeth said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Ashferddd said...

@ Annie S - Subscribe to the student rush alerts at the Pens website. They'll also send you the final score at the end of each game, along with the three stars. And they also send you transaction alerts. It's pretty sweet!

Peter said...

Ice for the upcoming olympic tourny will be NHL spec. crunch!

Candy Man Fan said...

per the twitter of reporterchris: Crosby playing centre on a line with Rick Nash and Jarome Iginla at Canadian Olympic camp.

Ashferddd said...

So guess what? I will be able to see this Tavares guy in person on Long Island on Black Friday. I'm sure the media will already make up their minds about him by then, but I'll make sure to let ya know that he's no Doofy (because I'm willing to bet that he's overrated). And naturally I'll LOL at Biron/DiPietro/insert goalie name here. And maybe, just MAYBE our savior John Curry will play since the boys will be back in the 'burgh the next day!

Pensational said...

I will be at the Canadian Olympic Hockey Training Camp Scrimmage on Thursday in Calgary. Team White features Sid, Fleury, and J. Staal. If I get to see Crosby centre Iginla and Nash I will lose my mind. I'll send staff pictures if I get some good ones. And believe that Crosby is excited about playing for Canada. I'm reminded of the Pizza Hut hot seat thing from a couple of years back where he is asked if he would rather win Stanley or an Olympic Gold. He says Stanley but it's painful, and he changes his answer to both :0)

Allison's Mouth Full of Tang said...

@ashferddd- when is black friday???im going to see this Tavares boywonder on oct 3, his debut, against the PENS!!!! woooooo.... i want to see him totes stunned as crosby deeks around him, scores, turns around and says "welcome to the nhl"

Ashferddd said...

@Allison - The day after Thanksgiving. I'm going to be home from the 'burgh, so my fam and I are going, even though it's a pretty long trek from the LV. I cannot wait to see Doofy and Geno own him!

Ashferddd said...

@ Pensational - I'M JEALOUS!

crmzak said...

Have you guys seen this at Steel City Sports Fan? I'm in AWE.

Mark Eaton's awesomeness has risen to epic proportions...

Eaton Party

MOAR Eaton Party

Candy Man Fan said...

@crmzak - Mark Eaton, what a man. he's from Delaware. looks like a great party

Rage said...

I just want you(puckdaddy sellout) bitches to know that the fact that you passed through my state without so much as an EMAIL crushes both Bob Edwards and myself.(You know what's up) I saw who else pimped herself out to P.D. today and it hurts me to say that you two and Carrie Milbanks now have something in common...you tricks obviously aren't THAT orange, however...Me and Bob are getting shitfaced over being spurned by you two. We were there when you were nobodies!!!Nobodies, we say!!!!(sniffle, sniffle, cry) wooooooooooooo

Candy Man Fan said...

for your viewing pleasure...lots of Staal goodness on flickr. the summer has treated Jordan well

debrisslide said...

@Rage, we're issuing a formal apology that should arrive within 7-10 business days.

The Goon Blogger said...

Listen bitches. I'm fucking drunk. So, peep this mother fucking shit: You bitches are mother fucking awesome. I mean, I don't need to say it to much anymore, the fact that you guys such a fanbase speaks for itself. But sometimes, mother fucking tGB needs to shout his shit.

You know what that shit is?

I love PH. Bam! Deal.

Allison's Mouth Full of Tang said...

@oh goon! filling in so well in my soberness...
thanks for the good times kGB.... uhhh... i mean tGB! :-)

Rage said...

@Zoe: no apology necessary...I still have love

Annie S said...

OH GOD, BEHIND YOU!

AmyB said...

LOL @ laurrabeth. So random. Looks like Mr. T. Dicks had an amazing Cup party. Jealous of everyone going to preseason games. Jealous of Pensational. Patiently (aka not patiently at all) awaiting the preseason.

AmyB said...

I LOVE DANy HEATKEy Momg. ph needs moar drunk comments. yay. tema canada owns life.s i seen a hot guys 2day in a canada shirt

Mullets and Peanut Butter said...

Alex Ovechkin wants to slip roofies into your food

On a brighter note, if anyone's doing Student Rush for the Sept 15th game, I have at least two seats in my car available, leaving from Pitt.

Annie S said...

Mullets and Peanut Butter - Are they doing Student Rush for sure? If so I definitely have to be in on that. ;D

Happy 1st day of classes!

Ashferddd said...

@ Mullets and Peanut Butter

I'm rushing! Who else is? I like company :)

Mullets and Peanut Butter said...

They usually have a bunch of tickets for Student Rush for preseason games, but they don't announce it until two or three days before (at least that's what happened last year).

I'm skipping my department retreat to go. I need my regular infusions of hockey awesome. I'm also bringing a new convert with me, another grad student.

 
Creative Commons License
Puck Huffers by Kimberly Davidson and Zoƫ Hayden is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License.