Sunday, August 9, 2009

driving the van


Privet! Kak dela? Men'a zovut Allison.
(See, Kim wasn't kidding when she said I knew some Russians!).
Anyway, Zoe and Kim are somewhere in VA. They so kindly handed me the keys to the van. Don't worry, I am now sober so there is no need for cries of "no waay im friving a van tihgt n now". See, if I was drunk, I would take a cab.


OH! Speaking of cabs...

Patrick Kane was arrested this morning.

Allegedly, he assaulted and robbed a cab driver.

Puck Daddy

TSN


"The report says the cab fare was $13.80 and the Kanes handed the driver $15. He claims he had only $1 change and was not in possession of another twenty cents to give back. According to the police report, both Kanes took their money back and punched the cabbie in the face and head."

Ummmmmm...

$0.20 is 1/8625000 of Kane's salary... just to add some perspective to the mix.




Maybe Kaner will get lucky, and they will accidentally try him as a juvenile. Easy mistake, if you ask me.


EDIT:


There really are no words.
(Although P. Kane is looking like a fattie... and I can't decide if its Nash fat, or Hartnell fat.)

50 comments:

Lori said...

I haven't been this excited to see a hockey mugshot since Jordan Staal.

Good luck on the road trip! I'm sure you'll bring the drunken debauchery that the uptight southern US desperately needs.

Julia said...

as a resident of va i am so amped to have you bitches down here!! have fun hit up VA BEACH!!

Allison's Mouth Full of Tang said...

@Lori- omg I CANNOT wait for his mug. Holy crap it's gonna be so good.

The Goon Blogger said...

"See, if I was drunk, I would take a cab.

OH! Speaking of cabs..."

Top 10 Greatest Segways of all time. What a performance.

Allison's Mouth Full of Tang said...

@goon- thank you! :-)

TheRangersFan said...

My question is how did kaner not get an underage drinking charge? He is still 20. Because if he was sober and refused to give the man 20 cents then...well i am just lost for words.

Bring out the 8th grade yearbook photo!

The Goon Blogger said...

http://media2.wivb.com//photo/2009/08/09/Kane_20090809181423_640_480.JPG

I totally forget how to do URLs on blogger, suck it.

Saw this on tPB, Annie S. with the find, Kane's mug shot.

AmyB said...

That's a glorious mugshot. What a cocky little bastard.

Allison's Mouth Full of Tang said...

@goon-thank you! I can't edit the post to add the picture from my phone! I LOVE his mug. As soon as I'm home, ill edit it in :)

JSt11 said...

"Maybe Kaner will get lucky, and they will accidentally try him as a juvenile. Easy mistake, if you ask me."

I do believe you'll need some of this for that 3rd degree BURN.

The Goon Blogger said...

Allison, mid-season form.

ANovak017 said...

why is there no mention of the supposed pierre beat down?
http://www.motherpucker.ca/nhl-news/pierre-mcguire-got-punched-out/

i can only hope this is true. whoever did it, i owe my life too.

Allison's Mouth Full of Tang said...

@anovak017-

We all owe our life to whoever punched Pierre...
The only reason I didnt mention it is cause I can't find anything official about it. Although Kim and Zoe twittered (?) about it.

ANovak017 said...

@allison i obviously meant 'I owe my life to.'
and i think that's pretty official, and tPB twittered about it, too.

Val said...

I sense a Grateful Dead song coming out of this...just can't figure out which one...

Caitlin said...

i can't see the mugshot and it's killing me

Allison's Mouth Full of Tang said...

@caitlin... i edited the post, so it's on the front page now! it's so awesome

Annie S said...

I think he's definitely getting Hartnell-fat. The douchiness is just oozing out of him by way of him turning into a fattie, and not the good kind.

Nulpher said...

Given the smug look: Hartnell fat.

Caitlin said...

his head is like a fucking bowling ball

Kat said...

I'm calling shenanigans. There's NO WAY Kaner beats someone up over 20 cents. Something's amiss.

Ashley said...

I'm stunned. Although that IS an epic mugshot.

Julia said...

OMFG I just realized why the hell Kane "allegedly" punch that guy...I think he is so devastated by the fact he now has to play with Hossa that he just *BAM* snapped and was like I have to hit something and the poor cabbie got in the way. It's just a thought.

mer said...

Kaner's mugshot >>> Jordan Staal's mugshot.

I think I will be giddy about this for about as long as I can ride the post-Cup-win-high...

Kat said...

@Julia, lol! I'm blaming the Hossa voodoo witch curse on all the Blackhawks shenanigans that have been going on this summer. My team was not a circus until that man arrived. What a pox...

Annie S said...

I put this up over at tPB. Seemed appropriate. ;D

Caitlin said...

does anyone else think that mugshot looks like it was taken in the 1920's?

meecrofilm said...

Allison -- beautiful segue.

Annie -- words cannot describe how brilliant that is. Really.


And I'm officially starting the campaign for Patrick Kane to exclusively be referred to as "20 Cent" from now on.

The Goon Blogger said...

Kane: You'll never stop me coppers! Mmyeah see! It's gonna be like this! Cabbie didn't have enough change so I bopped him one! Try and stop me coppers!

Allison's Mouth Full of Tang said...

@annie s- I opened that and blankly stared at it for 15 seconds wondering why he was obamafied... And then it hit me and I burst out laughing at my desk at work. Brilliant!!!

@meecro- thank you thank you. And I was just twittering (?) With raybin about 20 Cent, and he told me you had something to do with it. It may make it into an edit in about an hour.

@goon- that little scenario made me think of "Cabbie" and I wonder if he's gonna make a joke about it the next time he interviews him. Like "uhh I don't want to get too close, you might punch me."

AmyB said...

I would love to see Cabbie take on PK. Turns out Fleury really does like muffins. Apparently muffins were served at his party. I work at a bakery Flower. Stop by and get some muffins plz?

Anna. said...

sexy mugshot if i may say so myself.

crmzak said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
crmzak said...

Pens fans in NE area!
Gill will be just outside of Boston early tomorrow morning at his high school doing a "Coffee with the Cup" fundraiser. This link (scroll down to the 2 articles) has some interviews with Harold that are good reads, imo.
He wanted to be a math teacher?

And Eaton's public appearance will be in RI with the Cup on Sunday for a family carnival day at a new sports complex in the area.
Details here.

JSt11 said...

For as good as I am in math, I'm pretty sure I would fail any math class that Mr. Gill would teach. I would be too busy staring at him. Eaton is big on math too. It warms my heart a little, as nerdy as it sounds.

Candy Man Fan said...

@crmzak - glad my friends and I aren't the only ones who call him Harold. I love living in Pittsburgh but feel so ripped off bc the Cup is making public appearances everywhere but here!

Annie S said...

WHEEEE! My Halbert/Stanley/Me pictures!!!

One

Two

Three

The guy is TALL. I think I was staring up at him like he was a mountain. And I love the way that everyone in the Pens' organization is like the nicest guy ever. I'm gonna miss him. :(

AmyB said...

SO JEALOUS. God he's beautiful.

Annie S said...

@AmyB - I know! I don't know why I didn't notice what a good-looking guy he is until I saw him up close. It also looks like he's been on vacation - he's got a rockin' tan.

AmyB said...

JSt11 and I were smitten from the first time we seen him up close in person. He's effing beautiful. And I guess he's pretty good at hockey or whatever.

Allison's Mouth Full of Tang said...

I suddenly feel really inferior because I wasn't assertive enough to ask Rob Scuderi to stand next to the cup for our pictures... oh well.... AWESOME pics AnnieS!

Annie S said...

I went up to him to shake his hand before they took our picture, and I was just like, "whoa... how did I never notice how beautiful you are?" Of course I couldn't say that out loud, but I think I got caught staring into his eyes for a couple seconds too long. :P

Annie S said...

And Allison, it's okay - a few weeks ago I was too much of a chicken to ask Brooks to take another picture with me because our first one didn't turn out so good. You'll get other opportunities though!

Allison's Mouth Full of Tang said...

oh yea, when scudsy wins it with the kings! lol... i mainly said that for kim's benefit for when she finally sees this.

BTW, Kim and Zoe are somewhere in New Orleans, and I hope everyone is following them on Twitter religiously, because it it laugh out loud funny...

ps...when the fresh hell is guerin getting his day with the cup?!?! that will be my legit next chance!

Annie S said...

Haha, yeah, after I hit "publish" I went, "Oh, wait... crap."

30 Dicks is having the Cup in Rhode Island on Sunday, for any NE-area Pens fans. I won't be able to make it because I'll be driving out to Pit. I'm torn between friggin ecstatic and a little bummed out.

Candy Man Fan said...

@Annie did Harold notice/say anything about your shirt?

Annie S said...

No, he didn't mention my shirt (though I got a couple compliments from other Pensblog readers who were there), but he did mention about Brooks having also signed my Malkin jersey. Slowly but surely I'm going to get all of them!

The Goon Blogger said...

Sometimes, if I was a hockey player, I think I would just lurk on random blogs when I was feeling down.

Hal Gill, had a rough day? Let me direct you to the Puck Huffers post "Driving that Van"

Hal Gill: Thanks, tGB, I feel way better.

tGB: No problem Hal Gill.

Then we'd high five.

Allison's Mouth Full of Tang said...

Omgggggg. I think I should come here to leave a colmmments sinc I'm wasted. But then I feel like its eweird leaving a comment on. A post I worte about patrick kane hahaha. Pkan is awesome. A total fattie in hos mug. Iove that I don't have a mug shot haha. Ok. I got to go so I can go to brooklyn tomorrow morningg. Hahah. I feell like singing the beasiet boys!!!! Cheaaa!!!!<3 all yinz!

crmzak said...

@Candy Man Fan
I feel the same way when I see all the listings for their random public appearances in the 'burgh. All I get here is an occasional hunchback Lucic or Krejci sighting. Meh.

As for Patty Kane, I'd have to say it's a James Dean fat. I kinda dig it. Then again, I'm insanely partial to low-life alcy Buffalonians.

 
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