Sunday, May 24, 2009

flaming shitstorm

The way the NHL is scheduling games has got to be the most annoying thing ever.
Blame NBC and the apparent need of musical entertainment by millions during the fucking Stanley Cup Playoffs.
If there was hockey on, who would need music?
End of story.

btw, the Blackhawks had their lives ruined today by the Red Wings, who didn't even have Lidstrom and Datsyuk. Hossa stunned everyone.

Detroit will need one to clinch. The Hawks need two to stay alive. And honestly, based on the meltdown they had today (score was 6-1, yeah, we didn't even want to talk about it) it isn't looking good. It started with Kris Versteeg and rattled on up. The Wings tried to kill Havlat again. The refs started giving 10 minute misconducts out like candy and the bench got really damn empty and people were just getting thrown the fuck out. It was brutal. There was little dignity to be salvaged.

The press photography situation is just vomit.

Detroit gave Osgood a breather for the third period and put in Conkblock as the Hawks struggled to maintain any semblance of mental stability. That just reeked of class.
The Blackhawks put Corey Crawford in after Huet let up four goals.
They replaced him in favor of Huet again after the second.
Imagine being Corey Crawford.
Do you even want this job anymore?

Does Hossa even feel anything if he isn't rubbing his dick on the Stanley Cup?

You know what we say to this?
We say:
Fucking BRING IT, cumsluts.

Tomorrow, we'll try to entertain you as it will be yet another DAY WITHOUT HOCKEY.
What the fuck.


25superstar said...

the post title sums it up.
Hossa must have just had his testosterone injection today. Zing.

nu said...

of course, I fucking turned it off after two periods!!!!!
...of RW "hockey" and Chicago looking like they'd rather be at the eighth grade picnic...9_9

Then I had to go back and subject myself to twenty minutes of McGuire. (I think Elroy actually was dehydrated...otherwise they would have just sat his ass on the bench instead of making the AHLer get dressed.
Or, he needed a fix. that's probable too.) Only Ty now having playoffs other than six minutes of infamy!!!! would be worth it.

Fuck, fuck, doubletriplemotherfucking Detroit; I'm not going to live through this next series.

AmyB said...

Fuck Detroit. Fuck 'em all to hell and back. Bring it on cumsluts (LOVE that word btw) And Hawks? What the fuck? Honestly. You're not getting any for at LEAST two weeks. Have fun being celibate.

MadMax84 said...

Detroit sucks the joy out of all that is good in life. What douchers.

Although I didn't fail to see the homer irony in the fact that a day after the Pens beat a home team 6-2, I'm bemoaning the Hawks getting punched in the gut, 6-1. Though by stating that, I'm in no way condoning a comparison between the Pens/Red Wings.

Marion Hossa and his flesh-colored beard suck at life.

I'm kind of meh on Quenneville, but toying with Crawford like that was kind of bullshit. I felt bad for him. And maybe if Elroy didn't spend so much time in the back of clubs sucking balls, he wouldn't be so dehydrated.

Come on, Hawks, make it a series! And Tuesday=LET'S GO PENS!

utterfrivolity said...

Ok, I've been travelling and am way behind on all things Internet, so a bit of housekeeping from old posts:

Bill Guerin kissing Malkin is kinda incredible. I want to find it adorable, but then I see that picture of him with Kunitz and I'm mostly disturbed.

@1wingangel - Thank you so much for pointing out the Scuderi interview. My life is the richer for it.

Don't think there's much to say about today. I just hope that whatever's up with Lidstrom isn't serious.

nu said...

...I'm sorry, are you saying you want that arrogant self-entitled bunch of circle-jerkers to have Lidstrom back?

He'll be back. Probably for the next game. I wouldn't worry about it.

Kat said...

I'm not sure what the hell happened today, but we didn't have a fucking handle on anything. God, Can't the Red Wings just DIAF already...

MadMax84 said...

@nu: Whoa there! Utterfrivolity's a Wings fan, so I'd be surprised if they didn't want Lidstrom back. Also, just from a fan's perspective, I don't think it'd feel as sweet for the Hawks if (hopefully when) they came back and beat a depleted Wings team.

Out of all the Wings, actually, it's Lidstrom I find least offensive. Most? Tie for Holstrom and Franzen. Ugh.

@utterfrivolity: said Babcock found out about Lidstrom's injury in a cab on the way over to the arena! That's crazy, so I'm kind of assuming it's something that isn't bad, but bad enough that it took a turn for the worse. Maybe flu?

And also, agreed on the Guerin conundrum. Although I'm still not sure it wasn't just a case of turning the cheek/TV angle.

wrap around curl said...

It warms my heart that the Wings are referred to as cumsluts.

nu said...

well, I thought it was more polite than "cumsluts". :) If she's coming around here, I'm sure she doesn't take offense about her team too easily. And the Hawks did so well with the "depleted" team today, I really doubt they care at this point.

Lidstrom's okay. Not being human factors into that. :)

I guess it's a matter of how you determine offensive, but you're not counting H0$$A?

It'd be interesting, trying to rank them all from most to least offensive, but Cleary and Maltby are at the top of my list. Of course, no one will ever surpass the Great Elroy.

Allison's Mouth Full of Tang said...

I've been meaning to commend you for a while now, dealing with our severe, intense hatred of the Wings, and our love (me and Kat especially) of the team that your team is facing. Thanks for being classy and representing your fanbase in a nice way.

MadMax84 said...

@Allison: Cheers to that! I always admire fan poise.

@nu: :)

Hossa's game doesn't phase me that much. As a human being who makes horrible decisions that hurt the Pens, he's up there. (Ho$$a made me laugh out loud, by the way, that was classic). But yeah, the goonish Holstrom/Mule combo just makes my blood boil. Filppula, too.

But true, no one touches El Doucho, Elroy.

TheRangersFan said...

I personally love Hossa. He was one of several reasons I starting rooting for the Penguins in the Stanley Cup Finals last year. Its understandable why Penguins fans hate him..but you have to admit he is damn good.

That being said, I totally wanted the Hawks to win today. I was hoping that it wouldn't be a rematch series from last year, but there is a good chance it will be. The Penguins are playing their best hockey right now. They will get there revenge on the Red Wings and make Hossa look like an ass for picking Detriot.

nu said...

Actually, I've quite pleasantly felt nothing towards Hossa for several months. Utter indifference. He can do as he pleases, and I really don't give a crap. (can't take credit for H0$$A, though.)

He's just not getting the fucking Cup this year, that's all. ...him and the rest of that bunch of jerkwads who think they can take the regular season off because they're the only team who *can* and have a fucking home-ice berth booked in the playoffs. No. are they getting rewarded.

It's not one fucking set of rules for Detroit and another for the rest of the NHL. You got the Cup. You're giving it up. So help us hockey gods.

(I love being able to swear around here! :)

Kat said...

Oh woo, Didn't realize there were Wings fans around these parts. I'll give a big ol' ditto to Allison and say thanks for being classy and I wouldn't be such a rude ass if I knew nice people that belong to other fanbases were hanging around. lol.

utterfrivolity said...

I thank all of you who have made me feel welcome in these parts. Obviously the Red Wings hate comes with the territory, and this blog is worth the price of swallowing my knee-jerk reaction to the criticism.

(If I ever meet any of you, though, you'll be forced to listen to tales of Franzen picking blueberries in Sweden and Holmstrom knowing Santa. They're really too adorable to hate!)

The Pens love I have no problem with, of course. They've become my Eastern Conference team. I love them too - whenever they're not playing the Wings.

utterfrivolity said...

@nu - Yes, I can take it. *g*

@MadMax84 - I really don't know what to think about Babcock and everyone else not knowing there was something wrong with Lidstrom. I would've thought they'd say if it was the flu; hell, half the time teams say it's the flu even when it's not. It's concerning, to say the least.

@TheRangersFan - I adore Hossa. I was ecstatic when he was traded to the Pens; no one deserves being stuck in the hockey hell that is Atlanta. It's been great having him this year--his personality really fits with the Wings, which you all can take as you will--but I think he'll be somewhere else next year one way or the other.

TheRangersFan said...


I pray that place is New York.

AmyB said...

Hossa won't bother with New York until they're a Cup contender.

rach the h said...

I hope you guys have some sweet shit up your sleeves for the unreal week plus there will be without hockey coming up. What the fuck scheduling committee indeed.

Poor, poor baby Blackhawks. As much as I'd love to see them win, it would be that much more satisfying to beat the cumsluts in the finals.

nightsky73144 said...

"Hossa won't bother with New York until they're a Cup contender."

...RIGHT! - because, after this season, he is STILL gonna be looking for his name on the Cup (and, not finding it)

and, I like Lidstrom a lot, honestly - great player, and I think he's a good guy, too, from all that I have read

but, I still want the Wings to eat dirt and die in the Finals if they make the Finals

Let's go, Pens!!!

Simona said...

@ TheRangersFan I love Hossa too and while I will always have a place in my heart for him, I'll be damned if he gets the Cup this year. The Red Wings just give off this obnoxious vibe and if things go well, I would love nothing more than to see the Pens kick their ass in the Finals.

Something I've wondered about: if the Pens were to win the Cup, what are the odds Hossa tries to come back next season?

AmyB said...

I've wondered that myself Simona. I would hate to see him try to come back, but there's no denying he's skilled as fuck. I hope he just stays in Detroit where I can hate him comfortably.

Simona said...

Haha, yeah, who knows if he's even gonna stay with them? Doesn't matter where he goes, really, so long as he doesn't try to worm his way back to the Pens. Like I said, I love him but for leaving and not believing that the Pens could be a championship team, the only fitting punishment is seeing that very team take the Cup.

Allison's Mouth Full of Tang said...

You know what ... Ims drunk asd shot. Hahaha. Like soi fuckoing frunk, like omg... I'm wat.

Omg idk what I was saying... Iuust opened my internet to see hthat I had writetn thatbeforews... Hahaha. Doyinz see what the nhk is doing to me... Uif there was hockey I woulkd not be this drunks. Hahaha. Go penguinzzzzzzz$

I think I bwas going to say to utterfriv that I hatw the red wing as a team but I rwally like assome of their players as people haha. Yea I might be mads drink bhaha. Love uoy all hahahaha.

JSt11 said...

Fucking FSN showed an Adam LaRoche graphic when the camera was on Andy LaRoche. EPIC FAIL + brothers = 245249824 shots. Allison obviously took that many tonight.

AmyB said...

I'm so fucking jealous of Allison right now. I'm definitely drinking as soon as I can. I've been sober for like, a week and a half straight. How fucked up is that? I;m in college FFS. I'm also jealous of that mouth full of Tang. >:-( Hahahah<<333 Allison.

@Jess. We're drinking. Like, ASAP.

JSt11 said...

@Amy- Shit, this was the weekend for belligerent drunkenness. We fucked up. Double shot for a 5-3 play (LaRoche on 3rd throws to LaRoche on 1st for a ground out).

This Buccos game is a clusterfuck of hits and shitty pitching. Geez, when does hockey start again? And NBC is only gonna make the wait worse.

@Allison- I'm not sure what I'm more jealous of: the mouthful or being drunk.

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Puck Huffers by Kimberly Davidson and Zoƫ Hayden is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License.