Never has a song described a day more perfectly.
Listen as you read.
That is not a suggestion. It is a command.
Guess what we found?!?!
WE ARE VICTORIOUS AND SO ALIVE.
What did you do today? We ate dead animal with our bare hands and watched the '91 Cup victory, and the '06 Pens-Flyers game in which Crosby had a six point night. Allison got trashed as fuck.
Omg idk what I was saying... Iuust opened my internet to see hthat I had writetn thatbeforews... Hahaha. Doyinz see what the nhk is doing to me... Uif there was hockey I woulkd not be this drunks. Hahaha. Go penguinzzzzzzz$
It's like an old Evgeni text message, '$' and all. We're pleased with her efforts. We hope you were all as successful as she was. Or as we were, because we love dead animals and hockey. The two go hand in hand.
If you were wondering, it was a deer leg. We marinated it in a cooler with some old Coors Light. Like, seriously old. And various spices. Needless to say, we don't mind if Bambi is an orphan. Fuck it. Mmmmm.
Oh, also, today is the anniversary of the Cup game that we watched, so really, why weren't YOU watching it? We want good excuses. What did you all do today? Tell us about it. Sensually.
Offdays were pretty great. Brooks's hair was less fugz than usual, and JStaal disingenuously said his brother would "break out" next game. Like, we're talking some serious lying. Mom and Dad would recognize that little move from a mile away; hopefully they've sworn off watching offdays. Wouldn't want Uncle Jordy to get grounded.
Tomorrow is enormous. If we lose, WE MAY NOT ADVANCE YOU NEVER KNOW. We must crush them like bugs. Kill and marinate them like deer thigh. Et cetera. The Canes know what Dragonforce was saying in that song.
STAND ALONE IN JUDGMENT FOR TOMORROW.
We don't know how to address this next photo, only that you need to still be listening to that Dragonforce song when you click it to full view. We're...horrified. Everyone else should be, too.
EMPTINESS AND EVERLASTING MADNESS.
Seriously, read these lyrics. It's like our Cup rally song. We're moved.
Should we make it to the SCF, that is the song that will guide us on our epic quest, much like our epic quest to Target today to find Hint of Lime Tostitos. We were victorious. So shall be the Pens.
This was a weirdly intimate look into our daily life as fucking crazy people, we know. But really, it's a holiday, what can you expect from us? We miss hockey. We get a little sketchy without it.
Not like...Petey heading towards you with a rope and a grin sketchy....but sketchy nonetheless. (Zoe is crying now. That's what she gets for saying Kovie is too old to fuck me like ten posts ago.)