Our favorite boys on the team will always have one another.
It's not gay, because Nabby is an ugly lesbian. Which almost makes less sense. But we stand by our word.
Zoe's fifth favorite team showed my fifth favorite team to the door tonight. Clearly that means we're going to have to throw down.
Zoe, I hereby challenge you.
May 15th, 11 PM.
The Junior High parking lot.
You can borrow my Blawkhawks shirt. I'll find something red to wear. We will fight for the honor of these teams that are obviously so extremely fucking important to us. I'LL SEE YOU THERE.
The Hawks can choke on it.
In other news, the playoffs mean that press is required by law to show up for everything, which is both a blessing and a curse.
Sure, we don't have to worry about missing a goal celebration for recaps, but we also have to spend our downtime cruising practice photos and wondering what the hell made Mr. Captain so happy.
Rags and Caps play tomorrow, here's hoping we get what we want. Today someone stopped me in the street after seeing my Pens shirt to get a high five, thanking me for knocking out the Flyers because he hated them. Upon asking, I found that he was a Caps fan. A polite, friendly, good-looking hockey fan in the streets of Philadelphia? Be careful. The Caps may be sending these agents to all NHL cities to weaken our resolve. We can't let them get to us. Stay strong.
Canes and Devils go at it tomorrow as well. You know how we feel about this. The Canes haven't even sent any undercover agents to try to make nice. Not even an effort.
A fantastic article about Brooks Orpik came out in the past few hours.
It's pretty heartwarming, weirdly enough.
"As much as you hate to say it, there are guys who only play for the checks," Orpik said. "If they have to be at practice at 9:15, they show up at 9:15. Then, as soon as practice is over, they're gone.
"That's what I mean when I say it's different here. Guys want to come early and they stay late. The trainers get mad because we stay so long. They have to kick us out so they can go home."
"A guy like Ryan Malone, if he had to do it all over again, he'd take a lot less to stay here," Orpik said. "I know at the trade deadline, he was begging to come back here.
"A lot of the guys who have left feel that way. The older guys -- Gary Roberts, Darryl Sydor, Mark Recchi -- used to tell me we have something special here. I think the commitment level -- the camaraderie level -- that this group of guys has is unique in sports."
Obviously worth reading. Check it out.
MAF looking sassy to break up text.
And in case you missed it, Malkin addressed the topic of Sykora being out. It was, as anything from Malkin is expected to be, adorable.
"Little bit surprised because 'Sykie' good player and good shot, but maybe he need couple days rest," Malkin said, then displayed a bit of the devilish side of his personality that previously was hidden by his language barrier.
"We play three years, maybe Sykie tired of playing with me," he said, laughing.
"It's little bit rest now. Maybe we play together next series and play better."
Also, important fucking news, Malkin plans on growing a playoff beard this season.
Penguins center Evgeni Malkin had a good postseason a year ago, getting 10 goals and 22 points, and he would like to do everything he can to help the team take the one possible step beyond being the Stanley Cup runner-up.
So, after being a holdout last year, this time he is growing a playoff beard.
"To change a little bit my luck," he said.
Oh man, Penguins get a +1 for disastrous facial hair. This should be glorious. If Sid stands close enough to a beard-ridden Geno, he might actually look like he's hit puberty. We're pumped.
All that and Max Talbot being censored for saying the word "ass" here.
Oh, about the shirt contest:
We understand that we overlooked a demographic of people in our contest plans, and those are the people who are as poor as we are. We love PSR. We strongly encourage you to buy their shit. But if you can't afford it, don't feel like you can't send us something anyway.
Our email inbox looks like someone ate a bag of glitter and threw up on a hyperactive eight-year-old's spin art. The whole Blingee thing might be verging on harmful to our health. Please, keep them coming.
We wish we had more exciting things to say, but it's 3 AM and we're delirious and just hanging out until the Pens play again. We'll come up with something marvelous for you. Maybe. Hopefully.