Tuesday, April 28, 2009

DADDY HE TOUCHED ME WHERE I PEE

It was looking like Boston. Seriously.
Last minute collapse by the New Jersey Devils.
We didn't watch the game, but we were eying the boxscore on NHL.com and when Carolina tied it we were like "shit, OT." Pillow Lips probably asked Uncle Dad how much his alimony was and waited until he said, "Excuse me, you little punk, but my alimony is none of your--"

Goal.
Canes win 4-3 in regulation.

Like, seriously. What a terrible performance. What a disaster.

We'd rather have Boston. That would have meant that Zoë could watch NESN and Jack Edwards for a week. And try to find Max Talbot coming out of the Gypsy Bar, housed beneath the many classrooms of Emerson College.

Fucking Godzilla Boy. We can't trust you to do shit. We are so mad at you right now.
And Marty? What the fucking fuck?

Oh, not to mention. . .

BRING IT SLUTS

Go Pens.
Round 2 just means another team's season for us to destroy.

EDIT:
KEEP SENDING US BLINGEES. WE NOW KNOW OUR OPPONENT AND CAN FOCUS THE POWER.

PUCKHUFFERS@GMAIL.COM + BLINGEE.COM=DO IT

21 comments:

1wingangel said...

vomit

pensxfan said...

I wish Godzilla would quit staring EStaal down and just eat him already.

-sigh- I can't believe it..

1wingangel said...

pensxfan = amazing

Allison said...

Im too fucking pissed to make a logical statement right now... but vomit is looking good to me.

utterfrivolity said...

Unbelievable. Not that I don't enjoy watching the Devils lose, but I was less than 90 seconds from getting five points on my bracket. Way to fail, Marty.

crmzak said...

I've had a hectic night and when I finally got to glance over at VS, one word came to mind...

GROSS.

Annie S said...

Hey now, there's still a chance we could play Boston next round *knock on wood*. I have a feeling they're going to demolish the Canes, like they always did when the Whale was still in Hartford.

(ImisstheWhalersblog)

GingerSnap said...

I totally called these games. But imagine my shock when the Canes actually DID win...

I feel like I should predict more, but don't want to jinx it.

Either way, Ovechkin can suck a nut.

25superstar said...

i was watching both games (i have WAY too much time on my hands) and i was soothing my wounds about the washington win by reminding myself how much i love varlamov, but i was telling my friend how the Pens were going to play Boston next round: oh wait, fuck...FUCK.

oh well. EStaal's goal was incredible. NJ's defensive breakdown, not so incredible.

Allison said...

@25superstar- funny, i was also watching both games, yet i dont really have the time to. oh well, school isn't as inportant as playoff hockey.

utterfrivolity said...

@Allison - Thanks to last year's playoffs, I didn't finish my final paper for law school and couldn't graduate on time. This ended up costing me about six months of loan repayment from my school. And you know what?

It was totally worth it.

Pens_Addict said...

Not gonna lie, kinda wanted the Canes and Rangers to win, so we could have us a nice playoff version of the Staal Brothers Drinking Game* lol

I was with friends watching the New York/Washington game and we were semi-bummed... But one of my friends just said that this will be a nice series to do lots and lots of bodily harm* HA!

rach the h said...

Let's not even mention the fact that Versucksafuckingnut couldn't even SHOW the Canes/Debs game after the Craps finished off the Rags. Seriously, what a fucking joke.

On the other hand, Blingee has been trying to make my computer explode. Yet I keep going back...

GingerSnap said...

P.S. I think Orpik took out the sound technician for PensTV; his interview from today was sans audio. Wonder what the poor fellow did...

Amy said...

Versus is a total joke! They were supposed to play the remainder of the game after the Rags/Caps game. NHL.com said "Versus" right above the score. Assholes. Godzilla boy is never getting any, ever.

And Brodeur? Ai yai yai.

Jess said...

The one thing that sticks out in my mind about the Caps/Rags game was an almost full length ice pass right up the middle by the Rags in the first few minutes. Yikes. I admittedly didn't watch the whole game, but dinner with mom and dad are far more important.

Curiosity got the better of me. I read a slash fanfic. Can I just say that I will never be the same again? I am completely desensitized. And I thought regular fanfics were disturbing. Just WOW. In Clerks 2 when Elias tells Randall about Pillow Pants, Randall's facial expressions pretty much sum up how I felt.

Amy said...

Hahhahah! The slash fics were pretty intense. I read one about Geno and Ouellet. I can't find it now. It was pretty disturbing but I couldn't look away.

Vanessa said...

God damnit, if the Rangers had won...imagine how many people would have had to get their stomach pumped if they were follwing the drinking game.

I could see it now...

"You know Jim, THREE Staal brothers are in the second round this year!"
"Really Bob? Which ones?"
"Eric, Marc and Jordan, moron."

Take me to a hospital now, plz.
Um... nice subject line for the blog by the way. Very...uh..unique?

Kimberly~TheRangersFan said...

Please kill the Capitals. I would really appreciate it.

kellyn said...

Oh Good God. I think vomit accurately sums up the last two minutes of last night's game. Whatever. I tend to rebound from crap like this pretty fast. The Devils are out, which means I am now the Penguins ho for the rest of the playoffs and/or eternity. Because Marc-Andre Fleury has never given up a goal with less than 0.2 seconds left in a game or ponied up two softies in the final 90 seconds of a Game 7 to turn a victory into a crushing defeat when asked about his alimony payments (which I think is probably totally what happened).

Amy said...

Is Marc Staal now the sour Staal brother? Like JStaal was when he didn't go the all star game?

 
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Puck Huffers by Kimberly Davidson and Zoë Hayden is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License.