Monday, March 30, 2009

starting to notice a theme here

Yesterday, Kim brought you the glorious, optimistic insight of her drunkenness. As idealistic as she sounded, a sober Zoë over here is inclined to agree. Now that you're probably more familiar than you want to be with our unadulterated and pure love for the Pittsburgh Penguins and their Stanley Cup aspirations, we figure it's time to switch gears a little and show you how drunkenness has affected other hockey fans.

Here, then, is an epic tale of the Staal Brothers Drinking Game in practice during the Pens/Rangers game on Saturday night. The game is probably the thing that we at PH are best known for, and drunkblogging has happened more than once since we started writing, so to see it enacted in such faithful dedication brings warmth to our hearts. Kimberly is a Rangers fan and she was watching the MSG broadcast with her friends. Suffice it to say that they were bombed by the time Talbot scored.

In a totally inspired stroke of genius, she tried to buy sod for the party as well:
My brother and I are making our way to the garden department searching for some sod. It doesn't look very promising. We split up to look. I see a Home Depot employee and figure I might as well ask him. He tells me that they actually don't have sod because it is really difficult to get it fresh and apparently if it’s not done right you are basically wasting your money. He suggested that if I purchase some I need to get it imported (At this point I wondering if the Staal family would send me a patch from Canada). You think he would stop talking then... NO. So then he goes on about much do I want and I tell him I want just a little patch. He goes into this entire demonstration about how I need to line it up perfectly and basically showing me how to do it if I don't want to fuck up my lawn. I didn't realize that I looked like such a serious sod customer.

Like, seriously. What a story.
Click the link for full details, you won't be disappointed.
Also included is Staal trivia and a nice nod to the power of Max's mustache.

The Devils are drunk. Seriously. Brodeur has certainly come down to earth after his last 35-save shutout of Team Cal. His team is on a four-game losing streak during which Brodeur is only .900 if you squint and round up. He was pretty brilliant last night against the Hurricanes but apparently the entire team forgot that the third period is still twenty minutes long like the other ones.
The Rangers play the Devils tonight and, frankly we have a few words for Marty & Company: FUCKING. STOP. IT.
Everyone was bitching at the Pens when they couldn't beat teams below them in the standings. Just because the Devils have clinched their playoff spot doesn't exclude them from this standard.
While it would be really funny if in a few years Brodeur took a page out of Turco's book and made sure he was never further than 10 feet away from liquor, we cannot afford this tomfoolery.
New Jersey, keep the Eastern Conference in check for us. For just a few more weeks. Please.
We'll make you cupcakes and everything.

Sharks@Flames tonight is probably the most interesting thing going on. No offense to hardcore Atlantic Division rivalries, but we'd rather watch Calgary and San Jose than anything involving the fucking New York Rangers. Unless the Pens are also involved. In which case, as you must have learned by now, we can drink.


Evgeni off-day features bring smiles to the faces of women and children everywhere.

What a Monday.
Go Pens.


Candy Man Fan said...

omg I'm seriously dying at the epicness of that Staal party. I wish I had been there. also, the sod story is definitely something that would happen to me. actually I'm pretty sure it will at some point in the future b/c I'm so obsessed with the Staal sod farm

Molly said...

"bitchhh please. i speak englush perfectly. stfu"

Allison said...

Ok, I'm really glad to see that I'm not the only person that has at least thought of buying sod from the staal farm.

25superstar said...

geno interviews are always epic. i wish i had someone to act like and idiot and make staal vs staal shirts and play staal trivia with. :'(

Nysha said...

I think the "Fact: The Staals are brothers." shirt needs to be a real, mass produced shirt.

And I agree with 25superstar, I need someone to have a Staal-themed party with. Maybe we should organize one.

Nysha said...

Oh, and poor Geno. Silly reporters asking him goddamn long questions and using words like, "clutch." But my golly is his English getting better.

... and his hair looked sexay in that video. >.<

Kimberly said...

thanks for putting it up! I am glad you enjoyed it!

also, it will be a very sad day when malkin can speak english perfectly. i hope that day never comes.

Annie S said...

I'd be okay with him gaining a larger vocabulary, and I might be okay with him eventually pronouncing words more clearly, but if he starts to use correct grammar and sentence structure, I'll be extremely sad.

Allison said...

Gino with correct grammar and sentence structure = heartbreaking

MadMax84 said...

Yeah, I'm all for progress in education, but Geno needs to at least keep the "shoot everybody" aspect of his English alive and well. Although part of me thinks he'll still have that "Aw shucks!" attitude when he does speak fluently.

Also, I think Jordan Staal should take hair lessons from Geno. Less gel, more tousle-age.

Brodeur and the Devils tonight=FAIL.

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Puck Huffers by Kimberly Davidson and Zoë Hayden is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License.