Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Pens vs Devils

Up until very recently the Devils had managed a solid season. Everything was going fine, Daddy Brodeur was having a pimp season, and they were seconds away from ensuring the division was their bitch.
And then...
Failboat.
We're not saying it was Daddy's fault, he just takes the most dramatic game photos.

Now is not the time to pull a reverse-Penguins and totally plummet at the end of the season. We want the Flyers to clinch the division like we want Chad LaRose to proposition us in a dark alley. No sir, not today. While it is technically still possible for the Penguins to claim the division title, we're not going to demand you have the same crazy aspirations as we do. And in the case that someone else gets the glory, please Curry just don't let it be the Flyers. Yes, it is a spite thing.

That being said, we still have to take two points from these guys and extend their losing streak even further. It won't be easy. Sometimes a team being disgusted with themselves is enough to fuel a win. Remember that? It was the every Penguins win in December.

...and January.
Christ it's been a long season.

We need to see to it that we don't allow their self-hate to overcome our pure bliss of being good at hockey again. It could be hit or miss. I was talking to my good friend Jamie Langenbrunner tonight and he claimed that the Pens can do it.

Oh, wait, sorry. Let me clarify.

I was dissecting my fetal pig that Zoe suggested I name Jamie Langenbrunner in bio class tonight, and the waves of formaldehyde fumes gave me giddy visions of a 12-0 win tomorrow night.
Jamie?
Jamie says "Go Pens."


Speaking of fetal pigs, the Skates and Plates dinner happened last night and there are some photos to prove it. Which actually has nothing to do with fetal pigs. We just thought we'd redeem ourselves.

Geno looks inappropriately desirous of that salad.
He still doesn't know English for "I demand my fifteen minute break or I'm calling the union" so he spent the night working hard. And starving.

This picture of Crosby is too much for us to handle.

"DON'T LOOK HIM IN THE EYES, SON.
Promise me son...never in the eyes.
"

JStaal, after realizing no one was keeping tabs on the wine stock.

No pictures of Max "I received the biggest tip" Talbot. Let's be honest, he spent most of the night in the coat room with some girl in a sequins muumuu or something equally as tasteful.

It's been a long day.
Tomorrow ends in hockey, so we're optimistic that it'll go quickly.
Woooo!
Go Pens.

21 comments:

Nysha said...

"Speaking of fetal pigs, the Skates and Plates dinner..." AHAHAHAHA! I was so afraid of where that was going. XD

Nysha said...

First photo from the event's gallery: Dapper Dan was totally rocking a baby pink satin tie. What a pimp.

Vanessa said...

"JStaal, after realizing no one was keeping tabs on the wine stock."
You guys just brightened up my incredibly horrible/awesome day.

FDeuce said...

"...he spent most of the night in the coat room with some girl in a sequins muumuu or something equally as tasteful."

classic.

he's always getting that superstar treatment.

Molly said...

if we win 12-0 tomorrow, when i'm there, that will be the highlight of my year.

great post :)
i love your guys' posts

25superstar said...

the best part of that sid photo is the look on that lady's face. "LIKE OMG, SID IS POURING MY DRINK AND I'M SO FUCKING SMASHED ALREADY!"

anyways, zach parise has dropped off the fucking map. i hope he doesn't choose tomorrow night to stage a comeback, as much as i love him.

Allison said...

ummmm.... that pig= really disturbing.

Allison said...

ummmm.... after further thought... how long until some douche photoshops the hell out of that Crosby and w(h)ine photo?


and don't shoot, but I'm about to leave the same comment on thepensblog

wrap around curl said...

I love the prom boutineers. WOULD YOU LIKE A RIDE IN MY STRETCH HUMMER? IT HAS SIX FLAT SCREENS. AND SOME DIET DR PEPPER. DO GIRLS EVEN LIKE DIET DR PEPPER?

debrisslide said...

Girls like Dr. Pepper very much. I am one of these girls. Crosby can give me Dr. Pepper if he wants, all fizzy in a little pink glass with ice and a straw. Though I think I'd most like to accept Dr. Pepper from Malks. Or Talbot, but Talbot would spill it.

Allison said...

Tablot would only spill it on you so he would have a legit excuse to rub your boobies

The Goon Blogger said...

All I can do is watch that Talbot Youtube and know that everything PH just said on his is entirely true.

Team Canada said...

3 Comments about the Skates and Plates pictures:

1. I'm embarassed for Bill Guerin. It's one thing for the youngens to get all dressed up and make some rich people happy by serving them salad, but quite another for a grown almost-40 year old man. Poor guy - at least it is for a great cause.
2. You can just tell that Gonch is a classy bastard. He was probably chatting his table up about wine sommelier style, being all witty and talking about classical music.
3. No pics of Godard because he was with Max (biggest tip, indeed) banging horny housewives in the coat check room.

jefe penguino said...

the free candy caption is spot on. O_O

Chubs said...

All I see in the Crosby pic is the woman's eyes getting huge like he's pouring gold into her glass.

Nysha said...

You are ALL too funny, too too too funny.

My poor neighbors. I should stop reading the comments before I get ready for work. I think I wake them up with my cackling/snorting.

wrap around curl, debrisslide, Allison... I'll tell them it's all your fault. Also, I think "classy bastard" is one of the best terms I've ever heard for Gonchar. It makes me realize why I love him as a human being even more, thank you Team Canada.

crmzak said...

Your captions rock. Orpik's especially made my day.

Letang's pic should read "Sorry, I'm not into cougars."

Why else would those women look so unhappy? Your waiter is effin Tanger for chrissake!

Juuusst great. Now he's gonna play like shit tonight cuz his confidence is shot. THANKS LADIES and Richie Cunningham dude.

MadMax84 said...

Great captions, PH and commenters alike.

Question: Do the coaches get to serve, too? My assumption is no, but I can't help but fantasize of chatting with Disco Dan on the subtleties of Prada's suit stitching, or being seated at Mike Yeo's table and screaming, "HE JUST SPIT IN MY SOUP!" to get him fired. Ah, dreams.

Candy Man Fan said...

I can't decide who I'd rather have as my waiter...I will never have that much money to spend on something like this (and I don't think you get to choose) so it doesn't really matter. but damn, how much fun would it be...

Jamie-Lynn said...

I'd love to see the red suit at Skates and Plates, that would be hot.

And the lady in the Sidney picture is a total cougar. She looks like she's holding back from blushing cuz the youngin in pouring her drink.

And Staalsy has sex hair.

Jamie-Lynn said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
 
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