Sunday, November 23, 2008

WHY THIS WEEK DIDN'T SUCK -- Nov. 17-22

Last week, finding more detailed reasons as to why the week didn't suck was difficult. The week hadn't sucked, and you, readers, were quite aware of it.

Well, this week we have some lessons for you. Pay attention.

WHY THIS WEEK DIDN'T SUCK
November 17-22


1.) We're done with the West for awhile. It's back to divisional rivalries and and catching up with the Rangers. It's becoming abundantly clear that their status as "the team to beat in the East" was only due to the fact that they were playing more games than everyone else. We'll get those bastards.

2.) Teams that play the trap are jokes. The Penguins weren't able to figure out how to play a team that trapped their offense, and this is obviously a problem. However, we're just going to call out every team that traps and say that while defense is an important part of the game, trapping isn't about playing to win, it's about playing not to lose. It's like saying to the other team, "Ooops, you wanted to play hockey? We don't play hockey, we just prevent you from playing hockey." It's the system of assholes and people with no talent and twincest bait. Teams that trap rarely win Cups unless by chance they're playing a team that is a total fucking joke from the other conference. Minnesota ain't getting in no SCF, guys. They are the epitome of a team that is ALL GOALIE. And the Canucks beat us because they were playing in full-desperation mode after their season went to the dressing room in the first period. Not to mention the power play being drunk, but it's cool.

Even Alain Vigneault thinks his team is hilarious.

3.) Our team is still pretty awesome. Sabu is proving to be a capable backup and Philippe Boucher is a great acquisition. We miss Sydor and we still cross ourselves Roman Catholic style every time we hear MAF's name, but both Sabu and Boucher have been huge. Boucher may not be entirely used to our system yet, and he has made some mistakes, but he is sick as hell on the penalty kill. We'd like to hang out at the bar with him, no lie.

4.) Clearly something is amiss in the universe this week anyway. The Bruins are at the top of the East and if we did the playoffs tomorrow, the Blue Jackets would qualify. It's one of those anomalous weeks that we'll forget sooner than later.

I mean, they blanked the Thrashers.


And Milan Lucic is still a thug.

5.) Kim met some sheep after hitchhiking to Delaware County, PA.

Maybe Owen Nolan was there? Should she have asked for his autograph?


There you go, friends. . .WHY THIS WEEK DIDN'T SUCK.

We're excited about an Islanders game the way you get excited about a wrapped Christmas present that feels like socks.

5 comments:

Team Canada said...

Nice job pulling out the positives, I don't think I would have been able to do it.

HCMT was pissed off after the Canucks game, I just watched his post-game presser on Pens TV.

I hope we can look forward to a feature on why Michel Therrien is a man.

Starting with the way he stuck up for Geno when he was struggling in the finals last year.

And hopefully ending with a sweet shirtless picture of him hanging in a pool with Mike Yeo and Ray Shero.

Allison said...

From the last comments page (oops, almost typed cblog), where can I find the video of project bundle up?

And great positive spin on the week.

Kimberlass said...

http://penguins.nhl.com/team/app/?service=page&page=NHLPage&id=9875

Click the 'Launch' link. When the Pens TV launches, click the "Pens in the Neighborhood" bar. It should be one of the first videos listed.

Allison said...

Thanks! Can't wait to be near a computer to check it out!

The Goon Blogger said...

Hmmm...I need socks for Christmas. Just sayin'.

 
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