Monday, November 10, 2008

Pens Vs. Red Wings

This is what you call tough love.
We’re just trying to prepare you for the onslaught tomorrow.

Tomorrow is an over-hyped game that the NHL wants us to pay close attention to. Normally we hate that shit and try to downplay those games out of spite, but in this case we’re buying into it. We just really, really want to win this game. Forgive us, we’re suckers for revenge.

The Red Wings are looking to get back Franzen, who has been out for five games thanks to a sprained knee. Third line forward Cleary missed practice for a personal day. They’re both expected back but Babcock says it won’t be confirmed until after tomorrow’s morning skate. [DetNews]

Excuse me for being so polite; our hate for the Red Wings is too concentrated into one individual to worry about these idiots. We’ll get to that toolbag later, though. Here’s the Wings lineup, assuming those two can get it together:


If you’re in a hockey argument and you want something to stand behind that is, in reality, basically worthless, the Red Wings are 9-2-2 and we are 8-4-2. Not that it means anything; we’re just providing you with the material to be that dick that brings up stats in hockey talk. Don’t be that guy.

Clearly Hossa was not as necessary as he could have been.
Someone who isn't a rent-a-player would have buried it.

So, let’s get into it, why we hate Hossa so much. Yeah, yeah, UFA, go suck a cock. This guy is an entire tool shed and we all know it. Max Talbot and his fu manchu will even tell you about it:

"There's [anger]. You can't forget about something like that because everybody in the organization and [the players], we expected him to come back. We thought he was comfortable here…” [Post Gazette]

We know he had the right to sign with another team, don’t get us wrong. It’s just that a dick move is a dick move. We don’t need him and his being gone doesn’t hurt our team. He was with the Senators for years before putting up impressive numbers and next thing you know he’s with the Thrashers putting up two 90-100 point seasons. Thrashers still suck and big moves at the trade deadline change the offensive makeup of the Pens in a huge way, as we all know--Atlanta gets Army, whatever. Hossa is addicted to the playoffs--only once in his NHL career has he been on a team that failed to make the playoffs, but one individual's performance does not a champion make. The Red Wings as repeat Cup champions in 2008-2009 is boring to the rest of the league, but to Hossa it probably spells money. In drunken-sounding Slovak.

Hey, Hossa, how about you stop looking for a team to carry you across the finish line and instead stick with a team and help them get there yourself.

All in all, we want to win this game. Yeah, it’s because we’re bitter and yeah, it’s because we want to see Hossa feel like an ass. Really, though, we just want to see our team get better. Beating the Red Wings, in a small way, makes us feel like we have come a long way. It’s our chance to prove that we’ve grown.

But mostly we want to see the Pens win because it’s a hockey game, and we love to see the Pens win a hockey game.



The Goon Blogger said...

Two fine ladies writing a fine blog right here.

..Ok that was a totally ridiculous comment.

The blog is solid. I think my favorite part about is that people who don't like the Pens will hate it and get their panties in a bunch over it. And you two will just laugh at them and call them "sluts" or something awesome.

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Puck Huffers by Kimberly Davidson and Zoë Hayden is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License.